5 things I hate about modern international football

[BillyStubbsTears]

Down 3 at 5. Gormless, face-painted t**ts looking up at the big screen and waving with an "Omg, it's MEEEEE" look on their fizhogs. Watch the bas**rd game you daft gets.

4. Down 3 places, but it's been in the charts for 26 years. Mexi-facking-can Waves. Pay three hundred sheets to watch the game of your life, then spend the match looking down the terrace for when the bell ends down the stand jump up and chuck their arms up in the air like a Nazi with Tourette's, so that you can get your timing right to jump up and look like a Nazi with Tourette's.

3. Steady at 3. Watching England and convincing yourself that THIS time...

2. Straight in a 2. That inane chanting of that bleeding White Stripes song. Their AMERICAN for f**ks sake.

1. In from nowhere to the top of the charts. 80000 people counting down to the kick off, led by a waste of an ejaculation on the PA. is this what football has become? Are the authorities so f**king terrified that fans will not get their quota of entertainment (and therefore not pay obscene ticket prices in future) that they even have to have some banal call and response routine for the kick off? What happened to immersing yourself body and soul in the gut-wrenching tension of the event?

As Blur nearly said, modern football is rubbish.

[Rovin Reporter]

Number 6

People  making lists of what they hate!

[BillyStubbsTears]

Keep going RR. You're bound to say summat funny eventually.

[RoversAlias]

BST, you may need to get out more

[MachoMadness]

I really should get used to number 3 by now, but it never, ever goes away. It doesn't matter how shite we are, 3 of our last 4 major tournament exits were on penalties, and one was after that Lampard 'goal' would have made it 2-2 when we were really going at the Germans. All of those instances could have been so different but every feckin' time it goes pear shaped.

Don't mind the Seven Nation Army chants that are springing up everywhere though. It's better than the vuvuzelas. Judging by how far behind ours eastern Europe's music taste is, I'm guessing they've just discovered the White Stripes?

[Chris Black come back]

All absolutely true BST however uncharacteristically poor grammar - it should read "they're American" or preferably "they are American".

I thank you.

[Muttley]

Down 3 at 5. Gormless, face-painted t**ts looking up at the big screen and waving with an "Omg, it's MEEEEE" look on their fizhogs. Watch the bas**rd game you daft gets.

And always, always waving at the screen, not the camera. f**kwits.

[Snods Shinpad 2]

1. Players looking up at the big screen to see replays of themselves.

2. Hair gel.

3. Tattoo sleeves.

4. Gareth Southgate in a TV Studio

5. John Terry.

[RobTheRover]

Down 3 at 5. Gormless, face-painted t**ts looking up at the big screen and waving with an "Omg, it's MEEEEE" look on their fizhogs. Watch the bas**rd game you daft gets.

And always, always waving at the screen, not the camera. f**kwits.

Spot on, Muttley.  No sense of perspective or direction.

[Rovin Reporter]

Number 6
Even more lists .. When will this drivel
Ever end !

[RedJ]

I think we're all forgetting "Adrian Chiles hosting ITV coverage".

[Pintolager]

The captain's of each team making speeches before the match about respect. WTF?

Will that become commonplace throughout the leagues? 

[Viking Don]

Only when the fans of respective sides are so right wing nazi t**ts that they have to be told because the rest of the world is looking in...

Number 5 is the one for me, does everyone at these games watch a big screen all game in the hope that their stupidist mug will be highlighted for the amusement of the watching millions? Some of the girls look cute tho, until they start doing a when harry met sally routine when they see themsens. Urrggh,

[southwestexile]

and ITV losing all interest once England are out

.....no, hang on, that's a good thing

is the original poster in therapy?

[silent majority]

BST,

As an away England fan I can guarantee that number 4 never occurs in the England end no matter how much jeering and whistling occurs. Anyway they're already on their feet as its de-rigueur to stand at all England games.

Number 3 just goes with the territory doesn't it?

[hoolahoop]

BST,

As an away England fan I can guarantee that number 4 never occurs in the England end no matter how much jeering and whistling occurs. Anyway they're already on their feet as its de-rigueur to stand at all England games.

Number 3 just goes with the territory doesn't it?

That's because many are that pissed that they couldn't go up and down on their seats anyway

[RedJ]

Watching other teams carrying off the trophies while England get nowhere near!!

bring back the Home Nations Championship

[Donnywolf]

1. In from nowhere to the top of the charts. 80000 people counting down to the kick off, led by a waste of an ejaculation on the PA. is this what football has become? Are the authorities so f***ing terrified that fans will not get their quota of entertainment (and therefore not pay obscene ticket prices in future) that they even have to have some banal call and response routine for the kick off? What happened to immersing yourself body and soul in the gut-wrenching tension of the event?

As Blur nearly said, modern football is rubbish.

Lets hope that this DOES NOT catch on.

Luckily the Vuvuzela did not last long - but sometimes things that are s**t do survive (as you pointed out with the Mexican wave) and I hope the stupid 5-4-3-2-1 is not one of them