So anyway..........

[CusworthRovers]

to cut a long story short. The reason I have 3 stich's in my head are as follows:

Mrs CR ' Where would you most liked to be buried dear?'
CR 'Bollock deep in your slutty sister, why?'


and then for some reason, all hell broke loose.

[bobjimwilly]

CusworthRovers wrote:

to cut a long story short. The reason I have 3 stich's in my head are as follows:

Mrs CR ' Where would you most liked to be buried dear?'
CR 'Bollock deep in your slutty sister, why?'


and then for some reason, all hell broke loose.

I think I'll try that one with our lass, although 'Bollock deep in your slutty brother' may not have the same effect  

[pigeonhole]

Three Stichs?

[CusworthRovers]

CusworthRovers wrote:

to cut a long story short. The reason I have 3 stich's in my head are as follows:

Mrs CR ' Where would you most liked to be buried dear?'
CR 'Bollock deep in your slutty sister, why?'


and then for some reason, all hell broke loose.

She just wouldn't let it lie. We argued and fought over and over again. I even hoovered up to make the peace. That's why I now find myself writing this in from DRI.
Whilst I was hoovering she came out of the shower and attacked me again without warning. One momentary loss of muscle control and I shove the Hoover noozle into her vagina. It's only the last half hour that she's come out of Intensive Care. The docs have told me it should be fine and she's picking up nicely.

[Bentley Bullet]

You were Dyson with death saying things like that.

[CusworthRovers]

To be honest lads it's all about having guts and balls when dealing with the Mrs.

Guts

Is arriving home late after a big night out with the lads...then being met by the Mrs inside the doorway with a broom in her hand. Then have the guts to ask 'Are you still cleaning at this hour love or are you flying somewhere?'

Balls

Is again arriving home late after a big night out with the boys...smelling of perfume, beer and lipstick all over your face, collar and crotch area. Then have the balls to slap your lass on the arse and say in a drunken stupor 'You're next fatty'

[DonnyNoel]

CusworthRovers wrote:

to cut a long story short. The reason I have 3 stich's in my head are as follows:

Mrs CR ' Where would you most liked to be buried dear?'
CR 'Bollock deep in your slutty sister, why?'


and then for some reason, all hell broke loose.

It's happened the other way round for me - the Mrs has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

[bobjimwilly]

DonnyNoel wrote:

It's happened the other way round for me - the Mrs has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

Taxi for DonnyNoel?  

[CusworthRovers]

Nag nag nag nag. She's now having a right go at me for using her toothbrush. Anybody got any other suggestions on how to get dog shit off my running trainers?

[CusworthRovers]

I recall the last time I threw the Mrs out with a back hander. A little bit confusing at the time, with her actually being cross-eyed and all that. We were in a packed restaurant having a lovely romantic meal when she looked into my eyes, and the bitch then told me she was seeing other men.

[CusworthRovers]

Linking in with the Murray thread. Only this Sunday morning I was glued to the box hoping Murray would win. I'd got a ton on him at 10/1 at the beginning of the tournament and was gutted at the near victory but overall loss. When I told the Mrs, she laughed in my face. Unlike Murray (and unfortunately for her face) I do have a decent backhand. The cow soon stopped laughing.

[CusworthRovers]

Always whinging about me not being able to do 2 things at once. Multi Tasking I believe is the buzz word for the chicks. Last night, I thought I'd prove her theory wrong, and boy did I. It ended in another huge fight, cuts and bruises etc. In hindsight, pissing whilst getting a blow job probably wasn't the best way to prove my theory.

[jucyberry]

Ahh but every girl knows that men have an area of expertize when it comes to multi tasking.... what bloke out there cannot lay claim to the dubious skill of picking his nose and flicking it as well as fiddling with his bits whilst watching top gear and passing wind at the same time.......

[Old Popsider]

jucyberry wrote:

Ahh but every girl knows that men have an area of expertize when it comes to multi tasking.... what bloke out there cannot lay claim to the dubious skill of picking his nose and flicking it as well as fiddling with his bits whilst watching top gear and passing wind at the same time.......

Have we met before then?  

[CusworthRovers]

When I was in Amsterdam I went into one of the brothels and asked for the uggliest, fattest, woman they had, also complete with the saggiest tits and a minge like a fur trappers hat.

Madame 'Are we feeling kinky tonight then sir?'
CR 'No just f**king homesick'

[CusworthRovers]

One back for Mrs Cussy.

Mrs CR answered the phone last night and this pervert on the other end starts with the heavy breathing shit and says 'have you got a big fat sweaty hairy Kitson?'. Our lass says 'yeah, hang on a minute, he's laid on the settee, do you want me to get him?'