Lame to Fame

[belton rover]

Unashamedly stolen from Viz:

What is your lame to fame?
The lamer, the better.

My favourite one is this:

A college friend of mine reckoned she was the cousin of ex TV personality, Roland Rivron. I pretended to be impressed and made out I knew who he was. Once, he picked us up and took us into town after college. After that, I had to look him up to see if he really was partially famous.
He was!

[tommy toes]

I tried a pair of shoes on in a shop in Oxford Street, this was about 40 years ago.
Rod Stewart sat down next to me and did the same.
I nodded at him, he smiled at me.
That's it....

[Bentley Bullet]

He mebby thought you had Hot Legs.

[BillyStubbsTears]

I once stood behind Emlyn Hughes in the queue to put a bet on the Grand National.

[ravenrover]

I had a piss stood next to Sean Derry in the Blyth Services toilets

[Hounslowrover]

I once played tennis on a court where Hugh Lloyd had to pass me my ball. It's such a long time ago that many on here won't know who he is. Also once at Doncaster 'new baths' I let Alick Jeffrey pass me to dive off the top stage.

[belton rover]

If we are including Rovers’ lames to fame, Hounslow, when I was a nipper, I lived next door to Glyn Snodin’s girlfriend and future wife. I also went to their wedding reception at Cantley Scout hut, behind the shops. Dennis Peacock gave me 50p for helping behind the bar.

[Janso]

I was once sat a few rows behind Chris Sutton (who was on commentary duty) at Hampden Park. Best I can do.

[BillyStubbsTears]

I was once buying a Korg M3R rank mount synth in a music shop in London when a Scottish voice at the side of me said, "Is that a Korg M3R rank mount synth?" I looked round and was astonished to see the questioner was Tom Conti.

[River Don]

I once helped Ian Brown of Stone Roses fame, fill in a Euro millions lottery card. I was waiting to buy a paper and he was stood in front of me and the shop assistant was struggling to explain it. It was in a newsagents in Holland Park, I worked down the road in Shepherds Bush and I saw him quite frequently, he lived somewhere in the Holland Park area at that time.

[Bentley Bullet]

I worked a few times with Bo Derek. Not the famous actress, of course, this one was a bloke from Balby with terrible Body Odour. 

[SydneyRover]

I was asked to be dennis hoppers stand-in, about a 6 week gig but turned it down at the last minute and did something else, never actually met him.

[tommy toes]

Being a druid, I attended the Welsh Wiccan festival at Carmarthen Castle in 1997.
Me and my fellow Druids were incanting in a candle lit circle one balmy evening when a slightly portly female druid holding hands with me removed her cowl.
I turned to Mrs Toes (Morgana the Incalcitrant) and said ' F**k me it's Nerys Hughes.'

[turnbull for england]

I was in titanic hotel same time as Southampton FC when they played Liverpool, shared a lift with Mark Hughes two pints in and somehow resisted saying :going down?'

[River Don]

I once walked passed Ian Brown of Stone Roses fame again and he gave me a long annoyed stare.

I remember I happened to be clad in particularly scally looking kit, semi flared cord jeans, retro suede trainers, denim shirt. The sort of thing Ian Brown might have worn at the height of his fame... He was wearing a black long sleeve t shirt with a chuffing print of skellington bones on it, like an X Ray, a single black leather glove and black pinstripe suit trousers. How's it come to this I thought and I might have accidently rolled my eyes. I related the story to a friend later, who said he honestly blamed it on all the drugs.

[nightporter]

I sat opposite Ian Snodin in DRI at my ex's prenatal appointment, we nodded and said 'All right'  deffo best mates.

Also sat in Donny market place and Sean O'Driscoll walked past with a string bag with cabbages in.

[Bentley Bullet]

I once shared the stage singing with the legendary Chris Brown. He was a far better footballer than Karaoke singer.

[DonnyNoel]

I once saw Mario Melchiot having a guided tour of the Imperial War Museum in Manchester.

[ravenrover]

I also had a chat with Andy Fairweather Lowe whilst he was  scoffing his post gig penne arrabiata, as well as chatting to Albert Lee about Bob Dylan and handled Eric Claptons




Acoustic guitar

[rabjohns]

I saw Steve Cauthen naked in the jockeys weighing room at Donny racecourse.

[scawsby steve]

If anyone's got the DVD of "The Damned United", go to the deleted scenes in Special Features, and then to the heading "Never got it". You'll probably agree that the guy doing a walk-on as Bill Shankly is far too good looking for that part.

12 years later, if you see a guy with a shaven head and gargoyle features in the South Stand, I can assure you it's the same bloke.

[Draytonian III]

My cricket club were holding a benefit match vs Notts and Richard Hadlee was playing, he had finished playing but New Zealand were touring England so he was guesting for Notts . Notts only had 10 men so I was asked to play for them , so I’m in the changing rooms getting myself sorted and Richard Hadlee walks in and introduces himself to me “Hiya I’m Richard ,thanks for playing for us today “
 Every time a new batsman comes out to bat, he’s asking about them, so we end up setting the field between us, I come on to bowl and I’m telling him “ Richard move in a couple yards mate “

[Highland Rover]

Playing in a Dads v Boys cricket match , bowling to my son and got him caught in the covers by Neil Innes of the Bonzo Dog Dah Band , then I dropped a dolly catch off my next ball !!!!

[Herbert Anchovy]

I once had a piss beside Stewart Copeland from The Police at Heathrow Airport in the early 80’s. I remember he was laughing at some graffiti on the wall. I also had a pint with the drummer from Spandau Ballet at the Blitz Club in London before they were famous. He was sound but the rest of his band were strutting around like peacocks. My lamest claim to fame was standing behind the bloke who played Fred Gee in Coronation Street while he bought a packet of fags in a newsagents in Burnley.

[BillyStubbsTears]

I once sat two rows behind the father of Jacob Rees-Mogg at a presentation of Richard II at the Crucible.

[Bentley Bullet]

When I was a kid I met actor Jack Howarth who played grumpy old bugger Albert Tatlock in Coronation Street. He was signing autographs in Doncaster town centre. He was a right grumpy old bugger and it was obvious that he was just being himself when he played Albert Tatlock.

There was quite a queue for his signature because many people thought he was the bloke who invented the chastity belt, but they were confusing him with inventor Albert Tw@tlock.

[scawsby steve]

When I was a kid I met actor Jack Howarth who played grumpy old bugger Albert Tatlock in Coronation Street. He was signing autographs in Doncaster town centre. He was a right grumpy old bugger and it was obvious that he was just being himself when he played Albert Tatlock.

There was quite a queue for his signature because many people thought he was the bloke who invented the chastity belt, but they were confusing him with inventor Albert Tw@tlock.

That happens a lot in acting BB, and is how actors get typecast. In the DLT production of "Rita, Sue, and Bob Too" a few years back, I played the unpleasant, low-life, drunken dad.

I was just being myself.

[phllvslc]

I saw Marlon from Emmerdale in the old Borders book shop in Leeds once.

[Bentley Bullet]

I met Radio One DJ Peter Powell when I was the laser operator at Camelots in the early '80s.

[drfchound]

Good job you didn’t meet Jimmy Saville.