Funniest things you have heard / seen at Football Games (For Oslo)

[Donnywolf]

We will have done this before - and I certainly have posted this before. Not side splitting but it still makes me smile 


I was at Burnley v Chelsea aeons ago and there was a GALE blowing straight down the pitch from what was the "open end" there and maybe still is.

Chelsea were attacking the open end and so straight into the wind / ney GALE. One of them played a ball forwards (thumped it to be truthful) and immediately I thought its going for a "goal kick" for sure. And so I think did the Photographer to the side of the Goal.

He jumped up to kick the ball back to the Keeper but at that point the ball decided to hold up in the wind and it started going higher and higher and was blowing backwards as well.

Too late though for the Cameraman who was committed and was drawn towards the ball. I knew that he knew he had been dragged into the action accidentally - and yet still he kept going - all sheepish like - till he kicked the Ball around 6 or 8 yards in front of the Goal Line behind which he had been sitting !

PMSL laughing and of course the Ref had to come and b*****k him for entering the field of play and even the Ref could see what had happened and how it had happened - and gave the Camera bloke a pretend finger wagging .... A1 just wish Youtube had been about in those days

[Bentley Bullet]

I remember around the 70's a queue of Chesterfield fans all on their knees outside the Belle Vue kids turnstile attempting to get in for the concessionary price. All seemed to be going well until doubt was cast upon the gate-man when a bloke with a beard and a pipe in his gob offered his money.

[Herbert Anchovy]

I only vaguely remember this so forgive me if it isn't totally accurate.

Dennis Peacock's testimonial against Notts Forest at Belle Vue and Cloughie had brought pretty much his first team up for this. I was stood on the old main stand terrace and could see Clough in the away team dugout in his trademark green sweater. During the first half a young kid jumped over the wall in front of the Main Stand, took a quick photograph of Clough in the dugout and jumped back onto the terrace all seemingly in one movement. Cloughie immediately got up from the dugout, turned to the Main Stand terrace and asked where the kid was who'd just taken his photograph. This kid put his hand up and Cloughie told him to come down to the dugout for a proper photo. Clough sat the kid in the dugout next to him and got one of his subs to take another photograph. The kid stayed in the dugout beside Cloughie for the remainder of the half!

Absolutely Brilliant. I hope that this happened how I remember it!

[wing commander]

   The funniest thing I saw was when we were at Mansfield donkey's years ago..It was a warm Sunny day and one of my best friends who had long hair at the time was attacked by a swarm of midges...He moved to the bottom of the terrace to get away from them but they followed him (I blame the strawberry hair gel :-) ) The rest of the Rovers fans saw this and erupted into a chant of "Gypo"...Still when he reads this he will wish he still had that hair now...lol

[not on facebook]

Loads of donny fans got arrested and were bailed to return to Liverpool magistrates court .

The game was bang in hr middle of the miners strike hence where most of the trouble came from I guess.

A mate who did not get a pull that day decided to run a coach from the saracens to Liverpool for all that was up on a charge.

The coach was full and they got to Liverpool with plenty of time to spare,so they all went into a pub close to the court house.

There was 50+ rovers fans all  dud up before the JP and me mate who was sat in the pub with them all on the ale.in the far corner sat on his
own was a gent with a half pint reading a newspaper.

As the donny lads knocked back more pints there all started to basically describe the offence they was charged and what they did.
' I was fighting with this and that copper etc etc '

Me mate said to all the donny lads ' you lot should keep yer gobs shut
as for all you lot know that could be the JP  sat over there reading the paper who you all will be up against'

'Stop talking crap you stupid bugger' was the basic answer as free for all description of what each lad did took the main stage at the bar.

They are all now have to stand up as the JP walks into the court ,and the first thing the JP sayd id ' you should all have taken notice of your mate up in the gallery ,as Iam the said gent that was in the corner of the pub reading the paper .

All the donny lads sobbered up asap and the judge went throu all of them  saying I now have a good idea of what is what and dished out fines to all and sundry .

Before he closed the proceedings he asked all the Doncaster lads were
going back to the pub for a drink and if so could he join them.

All donny lads said for sure your honnor it be our pleasure

so a good time was had by all

[IDM]

The big screen images of tearful Leeds fans at Wembley...



Funny as fook IMHO!!

[not on facebook]

The big screen images of tearful Leeds fans at Wembley...



Funny as fook IMHO!!

All this soft arse actions of grown men crying when their teams lose at whatever big match ,when did
it all start as you never saw it during my time when watching the game

Don't ever recall seeing match of the day ,sports night ,the big match ,on the ball ,football focus etc etc showing us fans balling their eyes out after whatever game.

Some fans need to man up ffs and that goes for any girls that cry at games too

I bet they are all serious bed wetters

[Alan Southstand]

Remember standing near the away teams tunnel, at old BV, for the Rovers v Arsenal cup tie. During a lull in the match, one of the guys near me chimed up: "Wenger, if yer team played on my back lawn, I'd shut t'curtains".

Even Arsene had to laugh at that one!

[Herman Hessian]

v Rushden & Diamonds in the conference at BV

mainstand gobshites started up a round of "Brian Talbot - Big Nosed bastård" (bearing in mind we're right behind the away dugouts) midway through the first half and carrying on up to the interval; straight in to it again at the start of the second half and right the way through to the final whistle, so getting on for a solid hour or so - at which point Talbot turns round to us, wide grin under his vast nose, and gave us all a round of applause - top bloke !

[Wellington Vaults]

I can remember picking up a certain Oslo Rover one Sunday morning to go to a Chelsea v Leeds United game.  Whilst in the back of the car, he found a fish cake in the back pocket of his jeans, left over from the previous night.

[roversdude]

Gillingham away years ago
Rovers fan giving it large to all and sundry two minutes later nursing a somewhat swollen and bloody nose

[IDM]

I can remember picking up a certain Oslo Rover one Sunday morning to go to a Chelsea v Leeds United game.  Whilst in the back of the car, he found a fish cake in the back pocket of his jeans, left over from the previous night.

Is that a euphemism??

[Al4475]

I once pulled the back of a shirt of a Burnley player sat on the wall at the town end of the main stand terrace at BV as he was wiping the ball with said shirt's front - he got off the wall with me still holding the shirt - prepared his run up then felt my tug - turned round to what I assume was gonna be I tirade of vitriol aimed at the fan who'd done this and realised it was a lad of 10 years old!

He just laughed at me, put the ball down, tucked his shirt in, picked up the ball then threw it down the line! End of the game he gave me his shirt and said, 'you wanted it - take it - I'm not gonna need it much longer I'm being transferred tomorrow!' He smiled and walked away!

Can't remember his name but he was a lanky cb who moved the day later to Lincoln or York I think!

I shat myself when he turned round! Lol!

[not on facebook]

I can remember picking up a certain Oslo Rover one Sunday morning to go to a Chelsea v Leeds United game.  Whilst in the back of the car, he found a fish cake in the back pocket of his jeans, left over from the previous night.

Diamond white > Holsten pils > blast away > Saturday night round town > Sunday morning find last nights fish supper

[not on facebook]

It would be criminal not to mention that radio Hallam/Sheffield half time push ball effort that was witnessed at BV .

That had to be the funniest and at sametime most brutal act ever
served on the pitch at BV.

That poor person that took the ball full on during one push ball must still be laid up not fully recovered today.

That was a WOW moment if ever there was one

[The Red Baron]

I was there. I don't think anything could top that.

[not on facebook]

I was there. I don't think anything could top that.

Did they pluck the players in that push ball game from the rovers crowd or did radio Hallam
supply them?

I presume said game was played out at all grounds across south yorks ?

[1879Rovers]

I remember Gerry Daly almost getting into a fight with a St Johns Ambulanceman during one game at BV

[The Red Baron]

I was there. I don't think anything could top that.

Did they pluck the players in that push ball game from the rovers crowd or did radio Hallam
supply them?

I presume said game was played out at all grounds across south yorks ?

I think the teams were made up of work colleagues from a couple of local companies.

[The Red Baron]

I remember Gerry Daly almost getting into a fight with a St Johns Ambulanceman during one game at BV

Didn't they drop the stretcher when he was being carried off? Knowing Daly he was probably enjoying a lie-down.

[not on facebook]

I was there. I don't think anything could top that.

Did they pluck the players in that push ball game from the rovers crowd or did radio Hallam
supply them?

I presume said game was played out at all grounds across south yorks ?

You can just picture the carnage if the teams had been plucked from the Doncaster and away fans
there and then that day

I think the teams were made up of work colleagues from a couple of local companies.

[BobG]

Did you eat that fishcake in the end Oslo?!

That story has just had me wetting myself Belter.

BobG

[not on facebook]

My sole defence for the fish cake in my pocket issue is

When I used to go round town Saturday nites and allways before
we went into the kings head as it was called back then , I would allways nip into the fish and chip shop that was very close by at bottom end of bowers fold .

This was allways around the 21:00 time .i would allways get a fish cake from the said fish and chip shop but by time I got to the kings
head rest of donny lads had caught up with me and took bites out of
me fish cake .

The above went on for a couple of weeks ,untill the time a master plan
kicked in where I would buy two fish cakes > > > one fish cake for me and the 2nd fish cake for whoever if you get my jist.

It had been noted on police records that after I have been arrested mush later round town that I had a fish cake in my top pocket  hence to say I was that pissed and 4got all about it.

From memory the fish cake that Wellington vaults brings to the table
I can know recall as I know recall the said Sunday Chelsea/Leeds game > going in a car to London with a load of Leeds bas**rds and a fish cake was noted in my back jeans pocket > > > they took the piss
is fair to say

how it got there and stayed there is not too hard to work out as I had
previous

[Goole Rover]

Yes Red Baron that was the funniest I've seen. The St Johns Ambulance man had very thick glasses, he didn't see the half way flag and tripped over it resulting in both stretcher bearer and player falling to the ground.
On another occasion in the sixties an elderly St Johns man ran to a wet velvet pitch to render assistance, he must have had smooth soles and slipped taking a heavy fall to the ground. Laying motionless some wag shouted " ger a first aid man on to first aid man". Does anyone else remember this ?

[not on facebook]

With BV having two tunnels ,one for them and one for us that must have caused numerous problems over the years as footballers
are lacking at times

[Bentley Bullet]

I remember once at Oikwell, when the segregation wasn't so strictly adhered to, me and a mate ended up in the wrong end of the ground, along with all the Dingle fans.

Suddenly one of the Dingles said "Oi Pikey, fetch me a Bovril, and leave your shoe to make sure you come back".

When I returned with his Bovril, he handed me my shoe, and he'd shat in it. I looked at him and he just grinned and drank the Bovril.

When he'd finished the Bovril he smiled contentedly and actually apologised for shitting in my shoe. I said, "No problem mate".

 I must admit feeling relieved that he didn't taste my piss in his Bovril.


(The old'ens are the best!)

[drfchound]

Billy Connolly circa 1980 BB.
I first heard that on an 8 track tape mate.

[Bentley Bullet]

I think I heard it before that mate!

[drfchound]

I think I heard it before that mate!

I bet you wrote Connolly's scripts.

[les@donr]

I remember a night game at BV vs Northampton, when their manager Colin Calderwood took his frustration out on the away dug out and nearly kicked the perspex to bits. I remember he got reprimanded by the supporters behind the dug out and from the rest of the Main Stand.