Viking Supporters Co-operative

Viking Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: CusworthRovers on October 26, 2010, 09:42:10 am

Title: This Charming Man
Post by: CusworthRovers on October 26, 2010, 09:42:10 am
I appreciate some of you crazy cats see me as a bit of a charmer or a flirt with the ladies, or Belton Rover for that matter. I'm a dog on heat at he moment folks and been out on the pull constantly. Anyway to give some of you troglodytes a leg up with the chicks, I've compiled my best chat up lines and their effectiveness.

'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven'.....success rate 29%
'Grab your coat, you've pulled'...........success rate 33%
'Naah then darling, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?'.....success rate 56%
'Excuse me love. I'm going to poke you in a minute, whether it's with my cock or with this knife is entirely up to you, now get in the f**kin van.........success rate 100%
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: Mike_F on October 26, 2010, 10:18:23 am
I've had a similar strike rate recently. I was fed up of women screaming \"NO NO NO\" but recently they've all been making those lovely \"mmmm\" noises. All it took was a roll of gaffer tape.
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: CusworthRovers on October 26, 2010, 12:45:00 pm
Speaking of strike rate, I'm noticing an instant spark between me and all the girls I seem to pick up these days. That Taser gun is the best thing I've ever bought
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: jucyberry on October 26, 2010, 03:48:39 pm
I'm supried you havent used this one....


Hello lovelee ladeeee, It's me Cusworth rover.....Legend in my own lunchbox, leading light and high priest of lurve on the VSC....

I know you have heard of me,I'm the envy of every red blooded man in Thorne, all the men are in awe of my pigeon plucking skills...Fnarr fnarr......

 :laugh:   :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:



If I didn't have my fella who is to me just perfect, and I had to make a composite Donny man out of some of you boys I would have to choose BST's clever mind, Bob's nurturing skills, Cussy's charm the birds out of the trees smoothness and Nudgas naughty predisposition...

I figure that is an almost irrestable combination personally.:)
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: CusworthRovers on October 27, 2010, 09:35:11 am
I'm all 4 of them rolled into one, cherry pie....plus I know what a lady needs in the bedroom, unlike those other 3.
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: Filo on October 27, 2010, 10:14:15 am
CusworthRovers wrote:
Quote
I'm all 4 of them rolled into one, cherry pie....plus I know what a lady needs in the bedroom, unlike those other 3.



Knowing what a lady needs in the bedroom is different from coming up with the goods, ya talk a good game Cussie!  :laugh:
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: CusworthRovers on October 27, 2010, 01:21:11 pm
Let me have 30 mins with Mrs Filo and we'll see who walks the walk.

When I head South mate, there's 3 areas that get the full attention. Trouble is, Mrs Filo will never want anybody else after a cheeky session with me, and that includes you. That said, you pay the bills and I'll do the MOT's. Everybody's happy.
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: Filo on October 27, 2010, 01:39:57 pm
CusworthRovers wrote:
Quote
Let me have 30 mins with Mrs Filo and we'll see who walks the walk.

When I head South mate, there's 3 areas that get the full attention. Trouble is, Mrs Filo will never want anybody else after a cheeky session with me, and that includes you. That said, you pay the bills and I'll do the MOT's. Everybody's happy.




Mrs Filo is a Stainy lass and by birth right is good to the lads, but even she has got morals and would n`t stoop so low as to entertain a 6 fingered inbred from Thorne  ;)
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: jucyberry on October 27, 2010, 07:53:26 pm
CusworthRovers wrote:
Quote
I'm all 4 of them rolled into one, cherry pie....plus I know what a lady needs in the bedroom, unlike those other 3.



Ooooo a Schreiber    fitted bedroom suite and a flat screen tv?   :laugh:  :laugh:
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: Nudga on October 27, 2010, 10:25:39 pm
What's a predisposition? Is this a good thing? Does this make me attractive to the ladies?
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: jucyberry on October 27, 2010, 10:41:20 pm
Well, to beasties with disgracefully filthy minds like me, yup...very...   ;)
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: CusworthRovers on October 27, 2010, 10:54:24 pm
jucyberry wrote:
Quote
CusworthRovers wrote:
Quote
I'm all 4 of them rolled into one, cherry pie....plus I know what a lady needs in the bedroom, unlike those other 3.



Ooooo a Schreiber    fitted bedroom suite and a flat screen tv?   :laugh:  :laugh:



I cannot promise a flat screen TV, but I can guarantee something that will feel like a 42\"
Title: Re:This Charming Man
Post by: BillyStubbsTears on October 27, 2010, 11:56:22 pm
CusworthRovers wrote:
Quote

When I head South mate, there's 3 areas that get the full attention.


Retford, Newark and Grantham?

Full of scrunters, the lot of 'em. No wonder you give 'em full attention.