Viking Supporters Co-operative

Viking Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: Sheepskin Stu on February 23, 2011, 01:06:16 pm

Title: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Sheepskin Stu on February 23, 2011, 01:06:16 pm
So you're out on a Saturday night having a boogie or whatever and you meet a lovely lady who's up for some action. The only \"problem\" is she's 52.

Would you service a mature lady?

Here's an algorithm...

For young girls - half your age plus 7 is the minimum without being weird/pervy

For older birds, twice your age minus 14

Obviously throws up a few borderline anomalies, but as a rule of thumb it works.
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Spankster on February 23, 2011, 03:02:18 pm
the latter scares me :blush:
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: jucyberry on February 23, 2011, 03:30:01 pm
You got something you want to tell us Stu?  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



 

Thing is, it would depend on if you hit it off I guess and the attraction levels.

Also sadly as you get older so does the older other and I'm sorry but 46 I might be but the thought of 20 years older than me makes me :sick:

And if you are a man in your say 50's and Sophia Loren or Raquel Welch asked you out for lunch not many blokes would say no..... But if one of your mums friends asked the same thing I bet you get the right abdabs....lol
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Filo on February 23, 2011, 03:35:46 pm
Quote from: \"Sheepskin Stu\" post=143199
So you're out on a Saturday night having a boogie or whatever and you meet a lovely lady who's up for some action. The only \"problem\" is she's 52.

Would you service a mature lady?

Here's an algorithm...

For young girls - half your age plus 7 is the minimum without being weird/pervy

For older birds, twice your age minus 14

Obviously throws up a few borderline anomalies, but as a rule of thumb it works.




Going on your parameters Stu, i`m ok with the 35-82 range :ohmy:
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: RedJ on February 23, 2011, 03:41:55 pm
I wouldn't go above 54, so yeah, I'm in :P
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Nudga on February 23, 2011, 04:12:33 pm
No barriers for me. I'd f**k a frog if I could stop it from jumping.
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: streatham dave on February 23, 2011, 04:19:28 pm
on the basis of that 23-52 for me.Not bad. In reality both have been a bit lower than that in recent years.As long as it's legal both in terms of age and consent who's bothered?
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: ScillyRover on February 23, 2011, 05:30:19 pm
Quote from: \"Sheepskin Stu\" post=143199
So you're out on a Saturday night having a boogie or whatever and you meet a lovely lady who's up for some action. The only \"problem\" is she's 52.

Would you service a mature lady?

Here's an algorithm...

For young girls - half your age plus 7 is the minimum without being weird/pervy

For older birds, twice your age minus 14

Obviously throws up a few borderline anomalies, but as a rule of thumb it works.


According to your theory, with the old 'uns I should be ok up to the age of 106 ! :sick: :sick:
Thanks, but no thanks ... think I'll stick with those 35-40 ta very much ! :woohoo: :woohoo:
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Berkshire Rover on February 23, 2011, 05:36:44 pm
That gives me a potential 'spread' pardon the pun of 32 to 86, spookily one end of the spectrum is considerably more attractive than the other!
;)
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: ScillyRover on February 23, 2011, 05:45:35 pm
Quote from: \"Berkshire Rover\" post=143260
That gives me a potential 'spread' pardon the pun of 32 to 86, spookily one end of the spectrum is considerably more attractive than the other!
;)


So your into octogenarians then BR .. I'll send my Gran round, she lives in Reading ;)
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: CusworthRovers on February 23, 2011, 09:03:09 pm
I'm with Nudga. I'd nail a pigs ear if somebody held it's head still
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Berkshire Rover on February 23, 2011, 09:13:50 pm
Quote from: \"ScillyRover\" post=143263
Quote from: \"Berkshire Rover\" post=143260
That gives me a potential 'spread' pardon the pun of 32 to 86, spookily one end of the spectrum is considerably more attractive than the other!
;)


So your into octogenarians then BR .. I'll send my Gran round, she lives in Reading ;)


Only if she's a member of the VSC
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Filo on February 23, 2011, 09:37:40 pm
Quote from: \"Berkshire Rover\" post=143314
Quote from: \"ScillyRover\" post=143263
Quote from: \"Berkshire Rover\" post=143260
That gives me a potential 'spread' pardon the pun of 32 to 86, spookily one end of the spectrum is considerably more attractive than the other!
;)


So your into octogenarians then BR .. I'll send my Gran round, she lives in Reading ;)


Only if she's a member of the VSC



She`ll fetch her membership certificate with her on your date! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Filo on February 23, 2011, 09:41:37 pm
Quote from: \"CusworthRovers\" post=143313
I'm with Nudga. I'd nail a pigs ear if somebody held it's head still



You don`t bother with goats any more then? :thumbsup:


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Muttley on February 23, 2011, 09:46:07 pm
Quote
\"British Transport Police Detective Inspector Dave Crinnion, who investigated, said: \"I saw the goat the next day,  it did not seem too upset but it is difficult to tell.\"\"


:)
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: CusworthRovers on February 23, 2011, 10:07:59 pm
Nothing wrong with that Feta'ish
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: jucyberry on February 23, 2011, 10:15:26 pm
This you then Cussy my love???



A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon

etc...After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting

pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he

should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the

slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his

ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are

pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will

lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.



The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the

conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the

pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the

woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.



Next morning, he wakes up and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they

are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't

take, and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the

woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes

to bed.



Next morning, he wakes up to find the pigs still standing around. One

more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them

out to the woods. He spends all day banging the pigs and, upon returning

home, falls exhausted into bed.



The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at

the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are

laying in the mud. \"No\" she says, \"they're all in the truck and one of

them's honking the horn.\"
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: eastender on February 24, 2011, 10:52:07 am
So we've had Frog's,Goat's and Pig's,I can't believe we haven't had the old classic \"owt wi a pulse\",reply :cheer:

As for me 32 seems far more appealing than 86  (http://i372.photobucket.com/albums/oo164/eastender1/beingsick.gif)
Title: Re: How old would you stretch to?
Post by: Snods Shinpad 2 on February 24, 2011, 02:59:59 pm
Quote from: \"eastender\" post=143380
\"owt wi a pulse\"


Who needs a pulse for crying out loud?

Bleedin' luxury that is.