Viking Supporters Co-operative
Viking Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: scawsby steve on January 07, 2025, 03:09:07 pm
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I'll go first seeing as it's my idea.
There once was a chancer called Keith
Whose stealth was well hidden beneath
His route to Prime Minister
Was something quite sinister
With lies told right through his back teeth
Next.
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I'll go first seeing as it's my idea.
There once was a chancer called Keith
Whose stealth was well hidden beneath
His route to Prime Minister
Was something quite sinister
With lies told right through his back teeth
Next.
I'm not the cantankerous sort
But your post gave me some food for thought
After 14 long years
We had nothing but tears
Some folks' memories are dreadfully short ....
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I'll go first seeing as it's my idea.
There once was a chancer called Keith
Whose stealth was well hidden beneath
His route to Prime Minister
Was something quite sinister
With lies told right through his back teeth
Next.
I'm not the cantankerous sort
But your post gave me some food for thought
After 14 long years
We had nothing but tears
Some folks' memories are dreadfully short ....
A good attempt, Pancho. However, the last line is 2 "drumbeats" out. You need to replace "dreadfully" with "so", then it will work. The syllables(drumbeats) are important in limericks.
However, I get the reasoning behind the meaning. "All the same", and I totally agree.
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I'll go first seeing as it's my idea.
There once was a chancer called Keith
Whose stealth was well hidden beneath
His route to Prime Minister
Was something quite sinister
With lies told right through his back teeth
Next.
I'm not the cantankerous sort
But your post gave me some food for thought
After 14 long years
We had nothing but tears
Some folks' memories are dreadfully short ....
A good attempt, Pancho. However, the last line is 2 "drumbeats" out. You need to replace "dreadfully" with "so", then it will work. The syllables(drumbeats) are important in limericks.
However, I get the reasoning behind the meaning. "All the same", and I totally agree.
SS, I find that in general speech. most people say 'memries' rather than 'mem-or-ies', so I think the last line scans OK.
:)
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There once was a tale of regret,
With Boris, Liz, and Brexit.
They promised great gain,
But delivered much pain,
A blunder we won't soon forget.
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An angry old Bullet from Bentley
Treated the Tories so very gently
When Labour were elected
He became disaffected
And froths at the mouth evidently.
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There once was a conman called Keir
Who turned out to be most insincere
Most obviously fake
And a snivelling snake
To sensible folk that was clear
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The boy stood on the burning deck
But words, they would not parse,
Mein gott! ‘It’s bloody dark in here’!,
Because your head is ………..
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There was a pom called Syd
Who banged his head on a dustbin lid
He said "I'm not about to fall apart,
But it did make my head smart."
Everyone said, "WHO YOU TRYING TO KID?"
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OK, not original, but one of my faves.
There once was a girl from Morton
Who had a long tit and a short'un
To make up for the loss
She could p*ss like a hoss
And fart like a 650 Norton
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The boy stood on the burning deck
But words, they would not parse,
Mein gott! ‘It’s bloody dark in here’!,
Because your head is ………..
What is a Limerick:
What is a limerick poem? A Limerick should have five lines.
A limerick poem is a type of poem where the first, second and fifth lines have the same rhyme and rhythm. The third and fourth lines within a limerick will rhyme too! It's short, punchy, and often funny.
A limerick contains just one stanza, which is a group of lines within a poem, much like a verse within a song. Its rhyming scheme is always AABBA.
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A limerick’s a curious thing,
With a bounce and a rhyme it must bring.
Five lines full of cheer,
The last, crystal clear,
Like a joke with a lyrical zing!
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The boy stood on the burning deck
But words, they would not parse,
Mein gott! ‘It’s bloody dark in here’!,
Because your head is ………..
What is a Limerick:
What is a limerick poem? A Limerick should have five lines.
A limerick poem is a type of poem where the first, second and fifth lines have the same rhyme and rhythm. The third and fourth lines within a limerick will rhyme too! It's short, punchy, and often funny.
A limerick contains just one stanza, which is a group of lines within a poem, much like a verse within a song. Its rhyming scheme is always AABBA.
Maybe Syd's attempt is AABBAriginal.
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The boy stood on the burning deck
But words, they would not parse,
Mein gott! ‘It’s bloody dark in here’!,
Because your head is ………..
What is a Limerick:
What is a limerick poem? A Limerick should have five lines.
A limerick poem is a type of poem where the first, second and fifth lines have the same rhyme and rhythm. The third and fourth lines within a limerick will rhyme too! It's short, punchy, and often funny.
A limerick contains just one stanza, which is a group of lines within a poem, much like a verse within a song. Its rhyming scheme is always AABBA.
Maybe Syd's attempt is AABBAriginal.
Superb play on words there BB.
Indigenous, sorry that should be ingenious.
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Favourite of all time
An entrepreneur from Australia *
Once painted his a**e like a Dahlia
Threepence a smell
Went very well
But sixpence a lick was a failure
* Sorry SR , it doesn't work as well with Albania or Romania
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There was once a man called Steve,
Whose posts nobody could believe,
Always thought he was right,,
But always talks sh@ite,
So they nicknamed him Mr Naive
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An angry old Bullet from Bentley
Treated the Tories so very gently
When Labour were elected
He became disaffected
And froths at the mouth evidently.
Probably the funniest post ever on here.
10/10 Tommy
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"Probably the funniest post ever on here"
Said the Spanish Troll, most insincere
Even Tommy Toes knows
When people like him, brown nose
They're just talking b*llocks, like Keir
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"Probably the funniest post ever on here"
Said the Spanish Troll, most insincere
Even Tommy Toes knows
When people like him, brown nose
They're just talking b*llocks, like Keir
try not to let it show, aye?
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Cheers IR, but try not to upset BB as he knows he’s the funniest, most honest and truthful, self aware poster on here
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Cheers IR, but try not to upset BB as he knows he’s the funniest, most honest and truthful, self aware poster on here
Well, I can't argue with that, Tommy lad!
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On a league two footballing forum
There’s a definite lack of decorum
Some think they are right
Despite spouting shite
Not me though, ‘cause I’m bloody awesome
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There was a young CM called Crew
At the Mornflake he scored quite a few
It caused a to do
When the scoreline came through
For it read Crewe one and Crew two
:scarf: :lol:
Edit: (For BB) - as can be seen this was written in the middle of the night .............'dead vivid it was' :lol:
Let's hope :scarf:
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A keeper, called Ted Sharman-Lowe
After five pennos, thought 'here, I know'
This Hull player's shite,
I'll dive to his right
And out the FA Cup they will go
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OK, not original, but one of my faves.
There once was a girl from Morton
Who had a long tit and a short'un
To make up for the loss
She could p*ss like a hoss
And fart like a 650 Norton
Not an original Limerick at all
As your op suggested the call
Perhaps you were flustered
By Pancho’s retort (keen as mustard)
To your OP you’re now clearly flustered.
As an aside, I found ‘your fave’ not only lacking any sort of wit but actually adolescent like in its repugnance.
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"Get rid of the liars," they said
And vote for Keir Starmer instead
It didn't take long
To find out just how wrong
They were to vote for a total d**khead.
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When the country was run (down) by the Tories
One would get the usual stories
With Cummings in Barnard Castle
“Sod COBRA” said Boris too much hassle
Thousands dying with Covid “They should have done what I did”
“Go private, the NHS hasn’t the funds to cure rabies!”.
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OK, not original, but one of my faves.
There once was a girl from Morton
Who had a long tit and a short'un
To make up for the loss
She could p*ss like a hoss
And fart like a 650 Norton
Not an original Limerick at all
As your op suggested the call
Perhaps you were flustered
By Pancho’s retort (keen as mustard)
To your OP you’re now clearly flustered.
As an aside, I found ‘your fave’ not only lacking any sort of wit but actually adolescent like in its repugnance.
Maybe lacking in wit, but perfect in syllable beat, which your limerick attempt was not. In fact, it was way out.
Try something else. You're out of your depth with limericks.
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4th round games, they can be a great payer
With a chance to be the giant slayer
I thought we would be
The big game on TV
But no, we’re on chuffing I Player
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OK, not original, but one of my faves.
There once was a girl from Morton
Who had a long tit and a short'un
To make up for the loss
She could p*ss like a hoss
And fart like a 650 Norton
Not an original Limerick at all
As your op suggested the call
Perhaps you were flustered
By Pancho’s retort (keen as mustard)
To your OP you’re now clearly flustered.
As an aside, I found ‘your fave’ not only lacking any sort of wit but actually adolescent like in its repugnance.
Maybe lacking in wit, but perfect in syllable beat, which your limerick attempt was not. In fact, it was way out.
Try something else. You're out of your depth with limericks.
Here’s one right up your street that you’ll be able to share with friends & family.
There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
Then opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.
I’ll gift that one to your collection.
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OK, not original, but one of my faves.
There once was a girl from Morton
Who had a long tit and a short'un
To make up for the loss
She could p*ss like a hoss
And fart like a 650 Norton
Not an original Limerick at all
As your op suggested the call
Perhaps you were flustered
By Pancho’s retort (keen as mustard)
To your OP you’re now clearly flustered.
As an aside, I found ‘your fave’ not only lacking any sort of wit but actually adolescent like in its repugnance.
Maybe lacking in wit, but perfect in syllable beat, which your limerick attempt was not. In fact, it was way out.
Try something else. You're out of your depth with limericks.
Here’s one right up your street that you’ll be able to share with friends & family.
There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
Then opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.
I’ll gift that one to your collection.
Now you're talking. Brilliant, in rhyme, rhythm, and witty content.
However, it is a little bawdy for my delicate ears.
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There was a young fellow from Clyde
Who fell in a sewer and died
His unfortunate brother
Fell into another
And now they’re interred side by side