Caption competition

[Not Now Kato]

"Yes Brian, it's true; Norfolk N Chance really did say something positive about me, honest"

[Al4475]

"Brian - pull a weird face and I guarantee this picture will make the first caption competition on Viking Chat in yonks!"

[Sammy Chung was King]

John invited me to come and play with his train set,'How do i let him down gently without insulting him Brian'?
Horton-''Why don't you want to go it's a Great day out''?,''When you turn up he gives you British Rail sandwiches on a little tray,and a tiny jelly for pudding,''It's the most i have ever got off a chairman,brilliant day will always remember it''!! he says with enthusiasm
Then with a downbeat voice he says to Dickov

''The only problem was when i was about to go,he kept Repeating over the tannoy,''Would the man with the Purple Panda car Registration HORTON HEARS A WHO Please return to his car You are currently blocking A Little Rovers Winger in a Bentley from getting out''
''And he even kept replicating the bing bing bing announcement sound,i must have been an hour trying to get away''!!

Dickov goes silent for a minute then says ''Did you say there were free sandwiches''?

[Dagenham Rover]

A One Call girl was sat there a minute ago....................................honest

[jonnydog]

"That Donny Dogs got 8 tits!!"

[silent majority]

"A finger of fudge is just enough..."

[Twinkletoes]

Guys, we have to have more of these. They're brightening up my day.

[The Dav]

Hang on a minute Brian........who was it again who said you cant win owt with kids !!!!

[Colin C No.3]

Are we allowed to play with two keepers?

[Donny Viking]

Did you get that text from Malky Mackay?

[Sammy Chung was King]

Dickov talking Brian Horton-'Anyway i was in the toilet reading the Sunday Sport as you do,because we had,had a board meeting,and i hear Dick and Terry come in
Terry says to Dick ''It's the biggest budget they have ever had in their history''
Paul hearing this starts getting his hopes up,he's already spent the money Adam Le Fondre up front,Rio Ferdinand on a free for experience,and Sam Johnstone on another years loan.

 Dickov-''I'm sat trying not to let the paper rustle,and i slowly pulled my feet up to my chest,it's a good job because i saw a shadow bend down near the door,i thought they have got to see me,But they can't have done because i then heard one of them turning a tap
It wouldn't work
I heard one of them mutter under their breath ''F..king plumbers you can't rely on any of them''!!
then i heard one of them hawk a Green un up,i peeped under the door,and they were both rubbing their hands together.
Dick reached for the paper towel holder,it was empty,
Terry says 'We pay the cleaning staff too much,and they still can't refill the box'!!

There is a brief silence,then Dick pipes up ''That would be my fault i cut the cleaning budget''
Terry says 'Why did you do that?!!,
''It was when Rob got injured other night i panicked''
''Give over Dick says Terry what do you think we would get with a cleaners wage?''
''Well i had Dennis Souza on the phone it didn't work out for him in the Kazakhstan Second Division,and he said he would join for that money''.
Terry looks at Dick in disbelief and shakes his head 'Tight B..tard' he mutters under his breath
Dick says 'What Terry?'
''Nothing says Terry i was just saying i bet the tap handle needs tightening''
Terry goes over to dry his hands,he bangs on the Hand Dryer,once,twice,three times nothing,then Dickov from his low vantage point,see's a blur of a giraffe like leg,then a massive crash,Terry's only gone and volleyed the Hand dryer off the wall.

Dick looks at Terry,red faced from his exertions,Terry says ''That's your fault Dick
Dick ''Why what have i done?"
Terry ''Mentioning that Souza,that's what"!!
Dick ''What we going to say to the cleaning staff they will be in,in a bit to clean?"
Terry ''Just blame the Leeds fans everybody else does''
Dick ''But we haven't played them yet''!!
Terry 'Just say they were Donny White's out to cause trouble,they will swallow it"!!
Dick gives a nod in agreement,they walk towards the door,Terry looks back at the Hand dryer and says to Dick
''You can Forget Souza Dickov will have to manage,those Hand dryers cost a bomb''!!

The door slams,Dickov's hopes are in tatters he now knows what he faces,plus while he has been in the cubicle,he has sat on the Sport newspaper.
He had a regular ruse of reading the paper then taking it back to the local newsagent's saying his lad had bought it by accident,so usually he got a refund,plus a perusal of The Sunday Sport's....Problem page!!
''There's no way he will take this back now,that's eight five pence down the drain'' then he got an idea,the paper is the ideal size to plug that gap Jonesy kicked in the prefabricated office that he has at the training ground,when he dropped him for a game.

A Smile crept over his face,i know what i will do he thought rubbing his hands together in barely disguised glee
I'll claim it back on expenses!!

[afro goal machine]

"Sammy Chung was king is typing another essay into the caption competition Brian !"

 

[DRFCSouth]

Dickov "I didn't realise a sustainable budget meant buying your own f**ckin club tie now"!

Horton "Whos playing right hand side today, Franny Lee?..... Paul..Paul....."

Dickov "That wasn't the conversation Brian"

[Nudga]

Brian, what the f**k did we do last night? I've just been to the toilet and I've just shat a rubber jonny out.

[RobTheRover]

"There's this Italian kid coming in on Monday.  Battelotti?  Bellatoni?  Baltaloni?  Something like that, anyway."

[Al4475]

Classic nudga - didn't half make me chortle!

[eastender]

[andyst79]

"He's a homosexual Serpentes & one would question his integrity & honor"

[Twinkletoes]

Chips, it's the chips they want. Goals don't matter anymore!

[keepmoatman]

Was that a forward pass from Furman ????

[scaley back rover]

Bennett is banging on about wanting a bentley that someone said he could have

[Bentley Bullet]

I think Bennett's putting in the effort because he's after a pay rise.  He wants to upgrade and move to Bentley.

[Sammy Chung was King]

''Brian i was talking to Wayne Rooney other day,and he said those hair jobs make you feel like a new man'',then he glances again at Horton's bonce,Dickov feels his temper rising.

Brian your hair looks a b..locks,i know not everybody is as lucky as me with the hair,as he says this he runs his hand through the Brylcreemed magic,''But i'm almost tempted to sack you,your an embarrassment mate,how can i take advice from somebody who takes no pride in his appearance''?

[Dutch Uncle]

Do we ever announce winners for these?

(That is not a caption by the way )

P.S. My vote is for Viva on this one

[Copps is Magic]

Don't know. How do you suggest we do it? I can keep tabbs of league.

[Dutch Uncle]

I suggest you as originator have the right to decide (the number of likes might help though)

Brilliant initiative BTW Copps, we have some real comedians on here....

[Copps is Magic]

OK, I'll do it by likes. 1st = 5pts, 2nd 3pts, 3rd 1pt.

Winner, in true Bullseye fashion, gets a speedboat at the end of the season which they can take on the Norfolk Broads.

[Lesonthewest]

Brian I'm doing away with the 442

[BillyStubbsTears]

I can see it in your eyes.
I can see it in your smile.
You're all I've ever wanted.
And my arms are open wide.
Cos you know just what to say.
And you know just what to do.
But Brian, we're  not playing.
4-4-2.

[Sandy Lane]

We aint had one of these in a while. What is PD saying to BH?

I hear Rob Jones is in the pitch practically naked looking for Watford Anne!