Curtis Main

[Chris Black come back]

Just been released by Shrewsbury Town. Only signed for them in January.

They have also released Leon Clarke, who I had forgotten they signed. Only managed 10 appearances all season, scoring once. Would have thought he could have done better at League One level. Guess he has just given up.

[the vicar]

In fairness to Clark he hasn’t had much game time with injuries

[roversdude]

Found out by Cotterill ?

[Chris Black come back]

Kyle Bennett released by Bristol Rovers.

[Campsall rover]

Kyle Bennett released by Bristol Rovers.

Wondered what had happened to him. Has he played at all this season? Don’t remember seeing his name at all this season.

[Chris Black come back]

He was on loan at Grimsby Town for first half of season. Didn’t end up making an appearance for Bristol Rovers this season.

[Monkcaster_Rover]

Seems an age ago when JR promised him his Bentley (quickly backtracked and changed it to a ride) if he got to 20 goals after he started a season strongly.

[keyser_soze]

Seems an age ago when JR promised him his Bentley (quickly backtracked and changed it to a ride) if he got to 20 goals after he started a season strongly.

I think JR knew his Bentley was safe. Even appeared on Soccer AM with a 'Get Bennett A Bentley' old-school Totaliser like they used to have on TV Fundraisers. JR was then told he would be investigated by the FA for improper inducement to players or something? So he had to promise him a ride in it instead.

[Janso]

I seem to remember it wasn't allowed because it would have been counted as an uncontracted bonus or something.

I also seem to remember Bennett was never quite the same after that - until contract renewal time, of course...

[Monkcaster_Rover]

Didn't know about the FA getting involved. Thank you for that. He was literally bribing him when you think about it so no wonder they got involved.

Speed boat no driver, was Beno.

[NickDRFC]

I don’t think it’s a bribe, it’s a performance-based incentive for an employee. I think the issue would have been that it would have been a benefit-in-kind so would have been subject to employers NI and PAYE & NICs from Bennett himself.

[PDX_Rover]

Good old JR. Due diligence as always.

[Chris Black come back]

Just been released by Shrewsbury Town. Only signed for them in January.

They have also released Leon Clarke, who I had forgotten they signed. Only managed 10 appearances all season, scoring once. Would have thought he could have done better at League One level. Guess he has just given up.

Clarke has just signed a deal to the end of this season with Hartlepool United. He hasn't played a game since leaving Bristol Rovers at the end of last season. At 38, interesting to see how this plays out.

[glosterred]

Thought this might be one of those WAP threads

[DonnyNoel]

I don’t think it’s a bribe, it’s a performance-based incentive for an employee. I think the issue would have been that it would have been a benefit-in-kind so would have been subject to employers NI and PAYE & NICs from Bennett himself.

And all bonuses/incentives have to be contract based I believe so would have had to have been written in to his contract, otherwise you're just straying towards brown envelope territory.

[Campsall rover]

Just been released by Shrewsbury Town. Only signed for them in January.

They have also released Leon Clarke, who I had forgotten they signed. Only managed 10 appearances all season, scoring once. Would have thought he could have done better at League One level. Guess he has just given up.

Leon Clarke now 38 yrs old just signed for Hartlepool.  Think he is on a pay as you play from what i read.

[Chris Black come back]

Yes, that was posted earlier today.

[Bessie Red]

Just been released by Shrewsbury Town. Only signed for them in January.

They have also released Leon Clarke, who I had forgotten they signed. Only managed 10 appearances all season, scoring once. Would have thought he could have done better at League One level. Guess he has just given up.

Clarke has been at an astonishing 21 clubs over his career, thats 23% of the 92 clubs.

[elmsallrover]

Curtis played for St mirren at the weekend

[Chris Black come back]

Just been released by Shrewsbury Town. Only signed for them in January.

They have also released Leon Clarke, who I had forgotten they signed. Only managed 10 appearances all season, scoring once. Would have thought he could have done better at League One level. Guess he has just given up.

Clarke has been at an astonishing 21 clubs over his career, thats 23% of the 92 clubs.

Just signed for Kettering Town, in the Southern League Premier Division Central, which feeds into the National League South. That is now his 21st club in a career started in 2003 at Wolves.

[Dutch Uncle]

I remember writing this (to the song You're So Vain by Carly Simon) in his early days with us when we thought he might be OK:

You walked onto the Keepmoat and the defences were in a knot
Your shot strategically clipped below one post
You bent it oh such a lot
You had one eye on the goalie as you watched that swerving shot
And all the fans dreamed that there is the winner
There is the winner, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

You scored one several games ago when you were still quite new
Well we said that you made such a striking star
And that you would score a few
And we screamed away at the things we loved and one of them was you
We had some dreams, they were goals in our Keepmoat
Goals in our Keepmoat, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

Well I hear you went up to Valley Parade and your goal naturally won
Then you tuned your TV into Wembley Stadium
To see the total eclipse of the Scum (Weeds)
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're on
A run through the middle or the shoulder of a full back
Shoulder of a full back, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

[belton rover]

I remember writing this (to the song You're So Vain by Carly Simon) in his early days with us when we thought he might be OK:

You walked onto the Keepmoat and the defences were in a knot
Your shot strategically clipped below one post
You bent it oh such a lot
You had one eye on the goalie as you watched that swerving shot
And all the fans dreamed that there is the winner
There is the winner, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

You scored one several games ago when you were still quite new
Well we said that you made such a striking star
And that you would score a few
And we screamed away at the things we loved and one of them was you
We had some dreams, they were goals in our Keepmoat
Goals in our Keepmoat, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

Well I hear you went up to Valley Parade and your goal naturally won
Then you tuned your TV into Wembley Stadium
To see the total eclipse of the Scum (Weeds)
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're on
A run through the middle or the shoulder of a full back
Shoulder of a full back, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

That’s brilliant, Dutch.
Although, with hindsight, perhaps the chorus should have been:

Curtis Main, you’ll probably play in twenty one debuts.

Curtis Main, you’ll probably play in twenty one debuts, wont you? Won’t you?

[Bristol Red Rover]

I remember writing this (to the song You're So Vain by Carly Simon) in his early days with us when we thought he might be OK:

You walked onto the Keepmoat and the defences were in a knot
Your shot strategically clipped below one post
You bent it oh such a lot
You had one eye on the goalie as you watched that swerving shot
And all the fans dreamed that there is the winner
There is the winner, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

You scored one several games ago when you were still quite new
Well we said that you made such a striking star
And that you would score a few
And we screamed away at the things we loved and one of them was you
We had some dreams, they were goals in our Keepmoat
Goals in our Keepmoat, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

Well I hear you went up to Valley Parade and your goal naturally won
Then you tuned your TV into Wembley Stadium
To see the total eclipse of the Scum (Weeds)
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're on
A run through the middle or the shoulder of a full back
Shoulder of a full back, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

That's class! Very impressed. If we could get a friendly against his club  Bengaluru, you could sing it loud and proud at the Keepmoat 

Just a hunch - have you written songs before?

[Dutch Uncle]

I remember writing this (to the song You're So Vain by Carly Simon) in his early days with us when we thought he might be OK:

You walked onto the Keepmoat and the defences were in a knot
Your shot strategically clipped below one post
You bent it oh such a lot
You had one eye on the goalie as you watched that swerving shot
And all the fans dreamed that there is the winner
There is the winner, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

You scored one several games ago when you were still quite new
Well we said that you made such a striking star
And that you would score a few
And we screamed away at the things we loved and one of them was you
We had some dreams, they were goals in our Keepmoat
Goals in our Keepmoat, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

Well I hear you went up to Valley Parade and your goal naturally won
Then you tuned your TV into Wembley Stadium
To see the total eclipse of the Scum (Weeds)
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're on
A run through the middle or the shoulder of a full back
Shoulder of a full back, and...

Curtis Main, you probably think this song is about you
Curtis Main, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?

That's class! Very impressed. If we could get a friendly against his club  Bengaluru, you could sing it loud and proud at the Keepmoat 

Just a hunch - have you written songs before?

Not as such, but I have written alternate lyrics to many songs, including several for Rovers which appeared in the Fanzine.

It started with Bohemian Rhapsody (Macca, just skinned a man, put the ball on Leo's head, nodded down it's 1-0 Gregg' etc), and I recently put Hotel California on here. I also have Rovers lyrics to Suzanne (By Leonard Cohen), Fire and Rain (by James Taylor), American Pie (The Night that Belle Vue died), The Show must go on and Five Hundred Miles.

Maybe I 'll put some more up in a close season when nothing is happening

I have done many for other non football occasions as well. 

I first had the idea from the truly brilliant Tom Lehrer's 'Elements' to Gilbert & Sullivan's I am the very model of a modern Major General, and I have a half done Rovers version of that (I am the very model of a modern football manager).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaFxrYEDmCs


I have done many for other non football occasions as well.     

[belton rover]

I was proud of my O’driscol ditty to ‘We didn’t Start the Fire’

We love you Sean O’driscol
You’d rather have a brew than do an interview

Etc.