Ooh Lucky Me !!!

[GM-MarkB]

Of all the scam e-mails i've received from various African Banks, this is by far the best one...so I thought i'd share it with you. These chancer's name alone had me in creased up 

FROM THE DESK OF MR TITUS ZONGO,
THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE
FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT,
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

DEAR FRIEND,

GOOD DAY.

I PRESUMED THAT ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE A SURPRISED MESSAGE TO YOU BECAUSE I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORY FEW WEEKS AGO BEFORE I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON THIS MAGNITUDE AND LUCRATIVE TRANSACTION FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SURVIVAL IN LIFE. MOREOVER, I HAVE LAID ALL THE SOLEMN TRUST IN YOU BEFORE I DECIDED TO DISCLOSE THIS SUCCESSFUL AND CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION TO YOU.

I AM THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT OF OUR BANK AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FOR THIS FINANCIAL TRANSACTION WORTH SEVEN MILLION ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS (7.1M) FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SUCCESS. THIS IS AN ABANDONED FUND THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR BANK FOREIGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY THROUGH PLANE CRASH FEW YEARS AGO.

MEANWHILE, I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO COME ACROSS THE DECEASED FILE WHEN I WAS ARRANGING THE OLD AND ABANDONED CUSTOMERS FILE IN OTHER TO SIGN AND SUBMIT TO THE ENTIRE BANK MANAGEMENT FOR AN OFFICIAL RE DOCUMENTATION AND AUDIT OF THE YEAR AGAINST 2012.

INFORMED CLEARLY THAT IT WAS STATED IN OUR FOREIGN BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS WHICH WAS SIGNED LAWFULLY THAT IF SUCH FUND REMAINS UNCLAIMED TILL THE PERIOD OF FIVE YEARS STARTED FROM THE DATE THE BENEFICIARY DIED, THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BANK TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND HOWEVER, IT IS NOT AUTHORIZES BY THE RULES GUIDING OUR BANK FOR A CITIZEN OF BURKINA FASO TO MAKE THE CLAIM OF THE FUND UNLESS YOU ARE A FOREIGNER NO MATTER THE COUNTRY.

SO THE REQUEST OF YOU AS A FOREIGNER IS NECESSARY TO APPLY FOR THE CLAIM AND TRANSFER OF THE FUND SMOOTHLY INTO YOUR RELIABLE BANK ACCOUNT AS THE BUSINESS PARTNER TO THE DECEASED.WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT 40% WILL BE FOR YOU IN RESPECT OF ALL YOUR ASSISTANCE FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AND PROVISION OF THE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE BANK WILL REMIT THE FUND, 50% WILL BE FOR ME BEING THE PIONEER OF THE BUSINESS WHILE THE REST 10% WILL BE SHARED TO RESPECTABLE ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS CHARITY AND THE DESTITUDES HOMES AROUND US IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU ARE REALLY SURE OF YOUR TRUSTWORTHINESS, ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY ON THIS TRANSACTION CONTACT ME AND ACCEPT NOT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND TO CHEAT OR DISAPPOINT ME WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.SO REPLY FOR THE ASSURANCE WITH YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO FACILITATE EASY COMMUNICATION. AS SOON AS YOU REPLY, YOU NOTIFY ME SO THAT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE NEXT STEP AND PROCEDURE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO FINALIZE THIS TRANSACTION SUCCESSFULLY.

I EXPECT YOUR URGENT COMMUNICATION.

YOURS SINCERELY,

MR TITUS ZONGO

[afro goal machine]

Can't say much fairer than that !!!

[ridgewoodrover]

just had to change my boxers , they are a bit damp after  leaking with laughter.

[jucyberry]

I wonder if you can get an oitment for a Titus Zongo? It sounds most uncomfortable.. 

[Filo]

You`ve dropped a right bollock there mate, I`ve got in touch with Mr Titus Zongo before you, he`s told me that now he has my bank details the money will be in my account tomorrow, I`ve got the Aston Martin on order! Lol!

[Dagenham Rover]

You`ve dropped a right bollock there mate, I`ve got in touch with Mr Titus Zongo before you, he`s told me that now he has my bank details the money will be in my account tomorrow, I`ve got the Aston Martin on order! Lol!

Thats a bit posh for a taxi 

[The L J Monk]

I read about some fella who pursued one of these emails and managed to make a profit out of it.

I think he said something like "yes fine, fine, I can give you my details, but in order to do so, my bank insists upon a payment of such and such to be made first".

[BobG]

How come I've been left out then? If there's free money on offer, I'd like some please..... He appears to have forgotten about me doesn't he? Odd. I get lots of other offers.

BobG

[River Don]

Of all the scam e-mails i've received from various African Banks, this is by far the best one...so I thought i'd share it with you. These chancer's name alone had me in creased up 

FROM THE DESK OF MR TITUS ZONGO,
THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE
FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT,
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

DEAR FRIEND,

GOOD DAY.

I PRESUMED THAT ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE A SURPRISED MESSAGE TO YOU BECAUSE I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORY FEW WEEKS AGO BEFORE I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON THIS MAGNITUDE AND LUCRATIVE TRANSACTION FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SURVIVAL IN LIFE. MOREOVER, I HAVE LAID ALL THE SOLEMN TRUST IN YOU BEFORE I DECIDED TO DISCLOSE THIS SUCCESSFUL AND CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION TO YOU.

I AM THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT OF OUR BANK AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FOR THIS FINANCIAL TRANSACTION WORTH SEVEN MILLION ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS (7.1M) FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SUCCESS. THIS IS AN ABANDONED FUND THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR BANK FOREIGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY THROUGH PLANE CRASH FEW YEARS AGO.

MEANWHILE, I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO COME ACROSS THE DECEASED FILE WHEN I WAS ARRANGING THE OLD AND ABANDONED CUSTOMERS FILE IN OTHER TO SIGN AND SUBMIT TO THE ENTIRE BANK MANAGEMENT FOR AN OFFICIAL RE DOCUMENTATION AND AUDIT OF THE YEAR AGAINST 2012.

INFORMED CLEARLY THAT IT WAS STATED IN OUR FOREIGN BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS WHICH WAS SIGNED LAWFULLY THAT IF SUCH FUND REMAINS UNCLAIMED TILL THE PERIOD OF FIVE YEARS STARTED FROM THE DATE THE BENEFICIARY DIED, THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BANK TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND HOWEVER, IT IS NOT AUTHORIZES BY THE RULES GUIDING OUR BANK FOR A CITIZEN OF BURKINA FASO TO MAKE THE CLAIM OF THE FUND UNLESS YOU ARE A FOREIGNER NO MATTER THE COUNTRY.

SO THE REQUEST OF YOU AS A FOREIGNER IS NECESSARY TO APPLY FOR THE CLAIM AND TRANSFER OF THE FUND SMOOTHLY INTO YOUR RELIABLE BANK ACCOUNT AS THE BUSINESS PARTNER TO THE DECEASED.WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT 40% WILL BE FOR YOU IN RESPECT OF ALL YOUR ASSISTANCE FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AND PROVISION OF THE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE BANK WILL REMIT THE FUND, 50% WILL BE FOR ME BEING THE PIONEER OF THE BUSINESS WHILE THE REST 10% WILL BE SHARED TO RESPECTABLE ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS CHARITY AND THE DESTITUDES HOMES AROUND US IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU ARE REALLY SURE OF YOUR TRUSTWORTHINESS, ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY ON THIS TRANSACTION CONTACT ME AND ACCEPT NOT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND TO CHEAT OR DISAPPOINT ME WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.SO REPLY FOR THE ASSURANCE WITH YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO FACILITATE EASY COMMUNICATION. AS SOON AS YOU REPLY, YOU NOTIFY ME SO THAT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE NEXT STEP AND PROCEDURE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO FINALIZE THIS TRANSACTION SUCCESSFULLY.

I EXPECT YOUR URGENT COMMUNICATION.

YOURS SINCERELY,

MR TITUS ZONGO

The Titus Zongo? Of the Zongo Bongo clan? They make the Rothschilds look like paupers.

All seems above board to me, and you can see how urgent it really is because he's typed it all in caps.

And look, he's asked if you are REALLY SURE of you're own trustworthiness and accountability. Just to be sure of your trustworthiness in this matter.

Some people have all the luck.

[RobTheRover]

I've found him....

[Filo]

I've found him....

Looks an honest enough guy to me Rob

[GM-MarkB]

Well well, it would appear 2013 is really my lucky year. Following the windfall I apparently was party to, it would seem today i'm on the receiving end of yet more good fortune.....

From Mrs. Thandy  Mayo
 
 Dear Sir/Madam, 
 
I know you will be surprised to receive this proposal. Actually I got your contact address from the internet directory here in South Africa when I was making an intensive research for my investment in your country then I decided to contact you directly.   First I must introduce myself to you; my name is Mrs. Thandy Mayo, the Wife of Mr. Ruben Mayo, of Zimbabwe.   
 
During the crisis against the farmers of Zimbabwe by the supporters of President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white owned farms in the country, he ordered all the white and rich black farmers who do not support him to surrender their farms to his party members and their follower.  My husband was one of the best farmers in the country and a major financier/sponsor of the opposition party [Movement for Democratic Change MDC, and knowing that my husband did not support the president Political ideology, the president's supporters invaded my husband's farm, kill him and took over the farm land and other properties.   
 
After the death of my husband, I and my only son Pedro decided to move out of Zimbabwe for the safety of our lives.  Before the death of my husband he deposited the sum of (USD$21 Million United State Dollars) we get from the auctioning of our estates, farms and other businesses belonging to our family.
 
The funds are presently being kept away in security Company based here in Johannesburg South Africa as a family treasure and it is in confidential. I am looking for a reliable person overseas who is willing to help me and my only son Pedro to transfer this money out from South Africa and use it for investment outside this country since south Africa is neighbouring country to Zimbabwe it will not be protective to our life and more so we are asylum seeker here in South Africa and we cannot open a non-resident account through which this fund will be channelled out to any nominated overseas account.   
 
Please your true respond is accepted If my proposition is considered, Then for assisting us to transfer this  money to your country for our investment, we will offer you 25% of the total fund, and  70% will be for me and my family  and 5% will be for expenditure to invest in your country under your supervision.  If you’re interested Please contact me immediately you read this mail.
 
Note: please do not indicate your private telephone number for easy communication.
 
My sincere greetings to you.
 
Yours faithfully,   
Mrs. Thandy Mayo.

They say things come in 3's...so I must be due another one soon.....

[Glyn_Wigley]

You possibly seen this before as it is quite famous on the net, but it's still a bloody good read!

http://web.archive.org/web/20040616225321/http://p-p-p-powerbook.com/files/thepowerbook.pdf

[RobTheRover]

Well well, it would appear 2013 is really my lucky year. Following the windfall I apparently was party to, it would seem today i'm on the receiving end of yet more good fortune.....

From Mrs. Thandy  Mayo
 
 Dear Sir/Madam, 
 
I know you will be surprised to receive this proposal. Actually I got your contact address from the internet directory here in South Africa when I was making an intensive research for my investment in your country then I decided to contact you directly.   First I must introduce myself to you; my name is Mrs. Thandy Mayo, the Wife of Mr. Ruben Mayo, of Zimbabwe.   
 
During the crisis against the farmers of Zimbabwe by the supporters of President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white owned farms in the country, he ordered all the white and rich black farmers who do not support him to surrender their farms to his party members and their follower.  My husband was one of the best farmers in the country and a major financier/sponsor of the opposition party [Movement for Democratic Change MDC, and knowing that my husband did not support the president Political ideology, the president's supporters invaded my husband's farm, kill him and took over the farm land and other properties.   
 
After the death of my husband, I and my only son Pedro decided to move out of Zimbabwe for the safety of our lives.  Before the death of my husband he deposited the sum of (USD$21 Million United State Dollars) we get from the auctioning of our estates, farms and other businesses belonging to our family.
 
The funds are presently being kept away in security Company based here in Johannesburg South Africa as a family treasure and it is in confidential. I am looking for a reliable person overseas who is willing to help me and my only son Pedro to transfer this money out from South Africa and use it for investment outside this country since south Africa is neighbouring country to Zimbabwe it will not be protective to our life and more so we are asylum seeker here in South Africa and we cannot open a non-resident account through which this fund will be channelled out to any nominated overseas account.   
 
Please your true respond is accepted If my proposition is considered, Then for assisting us to transfer this  money to your country for our investment, we will offer you 25% of the total fund, and  70% will be for me and my family  and 5% will be for expenditure to invest in your country under your supervision.  If you’re interested Please contact me immediately you read this mail.
 
Note: please do not indicate your private telephone number for easy communication.
 
My sincere greetings to you.
 
Yours faithfully,   
Mrs. Thandy Mayo.

They say things come in 3's...so I must be due another one soon.....

Her sone, Pedro?  I wonder if her husband was Spanish?

[Glyn_Wigley]

Perhaps he was a pedrophile, get the pitchforks! 

[GM-MarkB]

Well I said they come in 3's.....shall I reply ???

From:   tjoa & thain (tjoathai@gmail.com)
Sent:   18 May 2013 14:35:54
To:    Recipients (tjoathai@gmail.com)


I have an interesting business proposal for you that will be of immense benefit to both of us. Although this may be hard for you to believe,

Should I ?? Hmm....Hmm....