When Sat'deh Comes - The Sequel

[jonnydog]

Inspired by bluntsmad and the blunts.

Sean Bean returns to the club after a number of years to find them in the 3rd tier, fans overcome by a torrent of anger and frustration. He himself is unemployed after his side business of pirate DVD's was reported on Watchdog, but kept his hand in football by coaching Manor Social to a mid table finish in the Sheffield Imperial Sunday second league. The Blunts chairman sees him as the perfect candidate for the empty managers seat...


Upon taking the role his words are

... "We're better than this"


After a successful pre-season with wins against Macclesfield, Gainsborough and a thrilling 0-0 draw against Scunthorpe the blunt supporters genuinely believe their fortunes are returning, and that the club will soon be heading back to their rightful place at dizzy heights of the premiership.

The first half of the season looks bright and upon making it through to the second round of the Johnstone Paint Trophy, Praise or Grumble becomes a haven of positivity with talk of Wembley, possible runs in the FA/League cup, resulting in possible Champions League football next season.

... They scrape through the second round after York city are reduced to 8 men following some impressive 'gamesmanship' from Utd's red haired talisman.

By this time they are 5th in the league with a game in hand and Sean Bean is  hailed as the next legend of Bramall Lane.



... Fans bombard Radio Dee-Dah to celebrate the fact they are the best team in the whole of Yorkshire and will prove it by beating The mighty Rotherham at New York Stadium the following week.

[Brian The Blade remains sceptical]

... They lose, and badly! Heads start to drop. They are eliminated from Fa/League cup and subsequently lose out on a potential trip to Wembley, crashing out of the JPT. As goals begin to dry up, they rely on draws and occasional 1-0 wins. They only just manage to sustain the last play off place but fail to score in both legs.



The red half of the city are forced in to realisation that at the very start of the next season before the ball kicks off, Utd are (albeit on alphabetical order), the 3rd lowest placed Yorkshire team in the whole football league, bettering only Chesterfield and York.

[Sean Bean sacked]

Like a true fan, he blames poor endurance on lack of investment, and also how teams have fluked their way to victory over them in many games with 'hoof-ball' tactics. He fails to come to terms with how he failed to bring his beloved clubs' league status up to that of 'the likes of Doncaster'.
He turns to drink and relies on his old football stories to get women into bed. Even convincing one woman in a bar in Hill Top that he was David Hirst, just so she bought him a drink and took him back to hers.



... Eventually Sean falls into a syphilitic coma and spends the rest of his days as a gibbering vegetable.

Like a scene from Threads, half the city goes into meltdown. Sheffield Utd are forced to concede they are no longer the force they thought they were, some fans scream, some fans try to force their way into bramall lane...



... some piss themselves in the street in fear, some fans even turn to support the blue half of the city, shown in the last image of the film with Utd fans hugging Ozzie Owl.

[audio fade out to crowd singing #singing the blues]

[Fade to black - Fade in Final dialogue]



It was when this happened, that it was then clear to everyone.....



Sheffield Utd certainly had, lost their appeal!!!!!


[The End]

Copyright JonnyDog MMXIII

[Lytham Rover]

Syphilitic coma real name "general paralysis of the insane" sounds like perfect description of blades fans!

[andyst79]

Post it on blades mad they will go mental ha!

[mrfrostsdad]

PMSL!!

[jonnydog]

Post it on blades mad they will go mental ha!

I'm surprised it hasn't already TBH

[MachoMadness]

Top thread JD. I demand it be stickied for posterity.

[hoolahoop]

  Is it on there yet ?

[jonnydog]

Is it on there yet ?

I've tried but they are quite strict on there, not allowing people to post new topics until they have 5 posts relating to that specific club. Then when you try and post 5 you're not allowed until you go through the site admin who screen eveything from new posters incase they are just on the piss take... So I suppose it works if you think about it

SO... posted it on Owls forum, thought they might like it, and might be able to forward it on   

 

[LincsRover]

Love it! 

There's even a thread on Bladesmad now from someone "ITK" that Kenny Dalglish will be announced as their new manager on Wednesday!! And noone is telling them to f*ck off for taking the p*ss!!

Surely they don't believe it????!!!!!
 

[RedJ]

Kitson's f**king off to the US according to that site!

[BobG]

No good. It's not far enough away. I think he ought to be looking at Mongolia. some great clubs out that way.

BobG