Let's hear some decent one liners...

[bobjimwilly]

I'll get the ball rolling.

What's the difference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole?

The volcano is still blowing ash.

[Barmby Rover]

\"Marry me emily and I'll never look at another horse again!\"
\"There ain'ta no Sanity Clause!\"
\" A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke\"
\"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse\"
\"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot\"
\"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.\"
\"I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt\"

Groucho Marx
Marvellous!

[Albert Trousers]

Show me your growler.

I always find that works for me !!

[jonrover]

Every girl has a right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

The last time I saw an arse like that, Lester Piggott was whipping it.

Your that ugly the midwife slapped your mam.

[CusworthRovers]

I know Paula, and the one thing I can say about her is, she's no quitter..........Brendan Foster Athens 2004.


said to Mrs CR. 'You've got a face a hyena wouldn't laugh at'........... CR 26/04/10

[BillyStubbsTears]

CusworthRovers wrote:

I know Paula, and the one thing I can say about her is, she's no quitter..........Brendan Foster Athens 2004.


said to Mrs CR. 'You've got a face a hyena wouldn't laugh at'........... CR 26/04/10

I thought the gravel-mouthed Geordie said she was no shitter?

[BLIR]

I'm not saying your missus is fat, but when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was finishing!

[bobjimwilly]

BLIR wrote:

I'm not saying your missus is fat, but when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was finishing!

lol I like that one  

[DonnyNoel]

My teacher said I wasn't very observant but whatever, that was his or her opinion.

My shrink says I have an obsession with vengeance. We'll see about that.

[GM-MarkB]

From the incomparable W.C Fields.....

\"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.\"

\"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.\"

\"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.\"

\"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.\"

\"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.\"

\"Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.\"

\"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.\"

\"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.\"