I'm a nasty bugger!

[Pintolager]

I was in ASDA earlier today with 2 full trollies of booze and some party stuff for the World Cup  when a little old lady got behind me in the queue. She only had a pint of milk, so I said \"is that all you've got love?\" She replied \"yes\". So I did the decent thing and said \"if I were you I'd fook off to another till, I'm gonna be ages!\"

[jucyberry]

Lee, you are a very bad man...hehe









Hope you had a pintolager in amongst that lot!  

[snods big brother]

Pintolager wrote:

I was in ASDA earlier today with 2 full trollies of booze and some party stuff for the World Cup  when a little old lady got behind me in the queue. She only had a pint of milk, so I said \"is that all you've got love?\" She replied \"yes\". So I did the decent thing and said \"if I were you I'd fook off to another till, I'm gonna be ages!\"

The old ones are the best!

[RedRover45]

I was also in Asda earlier today and came across a 6 year old little lad crying his eyes out. Whats wrong says I. Ive lost my mum he sobbed. So I says, whats she like.......

to which he replied...big cocks and Bacardi Breezers

[CusworthRovers]

I was in Morrisons when I lost the wife. I went to customer services and got talking with another bloke who coincidentally had also lost his wife in the store.

I said 'what's yours look like, we'll try and find both together?'.
He said 'well she's wearing a mini skirt with very long legs. She's very attractive and model looking, you know tall and slim. She's got long blonde hair, very ample breasts, which to be fair may as well be out with what she's wearing. What's your Mrs wearing like?'.
I said 'f**k her, let's go and find yours'