Pundits' jargon that drives you mad .

[graingrover]

My pet hate is to hear them say '  on the floor ' .... and also ... he put' his laces through it' !!!   

[DonnyNoel]

"Soft penalty". It seems to be that football is developing a culture that penalties can only be given where the attacker is taken out at the knees by a two footed lunge whereas when a slight trip is given on the half way line no one bats an eyelid when a foul is given.

[Donnywolf]

.... just about to "pull the trigger"

ffs ... just return to shoot / shot / shooting !

[Donnywolf]

... and Commentators and Pundits saying :

"he just about kept that in" when the Player stops it going out for a throw OR "he just about kept that out" when someone on the Goal line stops the ball going in for a goal

The other day John Terry got a great block tackle in about 2 yards off the line ,,, or as the Commentator described it " he just about did enough to block that shot" WRONG WRONG & WRONG He DID block the f*****g shot

The first example ,,, WRONG he DID keep it in surely ?
The second example ,,,, WRONG he DID keep it out surely ?

Sorry I have just about got that off my chest now 

[adamtherover]

If I hear pyramid mentioned one more bloody time when a lower league team is playing.. Gggrrr.

[Branton Rover]

I hate it when they say bounce up! it's a drop ball & so many matches they've win on 'the spin' what happened to trot ?

[graingrover]

  'he made himself big '...( the mind boggles )

[Mr1Croft]

'Woodwork' has always driven me crazy.

[BobG]

And I'm waiting to hear of the first goalkeeper to spread his legs.........

BobG

[nightporter]

I hate it when they claim the ball picks up speed when it bounces on wet grass. Not according to the laws of physics it doesn't.

[albie]

The worst has got to be "there was contact, so he was entitled to go down".

Now I cant find it in the rules, where it says cheating is OK if there is a slight touch from an opponent.

Most of the TV pundits don't know the rules of football, including many former players, and could not pass the referees test. Anybody who trots out the "entitled" line should be suspended from TV appearances for 6 months.

[arkseyrover]

what drives me mad is the 'delicious' pass ...............
and the endless meaningless boring pointless statistics that they drone out especially that numpty on ITV on the lines of 'this is the third time in five years that Joe Bloggs has taken a free kick in the second half of a match where they have been losing 2 nil and the other team have played in red shorts and each time the goali has made the save and then kicked the ball out to a team mate who has gone on to put the ball out for a throw in.' Sad b*stard.

[mushRTID]

Think it was Jonathan Pearce the other night in the fa cup;

"If that's in a league game, that's a booking"

????

[Bentley Bullet]

What makes my piss boil is;

The park;  It's F*CK*NG PITCH. (We're not in Scotland FFS!)

"You can't get closer than that",  When a shot just misses. Of COURSE YOU CAN - You can hit the target!

 

[Dagenham Rover]

Think it was Jonathan Pearce the other night in the fa cup;

"If that's in a league game, that's a booking"

????

I heard that one as well and thought at the time wtf's the difference!

[GazLaz]

It wasn't a Prem referee I don't think. League refs tend to let more go.

[BobG]

Strictly speaking tis might not qualify. But it does wind me up. Why do we have to have 17 different camera angles of the sodding shot and then none of the play that led up to the goal? Football ain't about just bleeding goals!

Oh. Billy. That's something else you can chalk up to the press. That's a Sky tv invention - all on their own. Before that we had coverage of 'the match'. Not of so many sodding out of context goals that it's become boring.

BobG

[GazLaz]

It doesn't pick up pace, it just doesn't slow down as much as you are used to.

[roverstillidie91]

When the commentators say it is an excellent cross into the box but in fact it was no where near anyone.

[Donnywolf]

What makes my piss boil is;

The park;  It's F*CK*NG PITCH. (We're not in Scotland FFS!)

"You can't get closer than that",  When a shot just misses. Of COURSE YOU CAN - You can hit the target!

 

True ! The best example ever of that is one I have mentioned on here before - It was during the televised Play off game between Charlton A and Leeds U

Leeds had a Free Kick just outside the box and Sheridan took it and grazed the bar with the Keeper well beaten. Commentator John Helm I think said " oh inch perfect - Just over the Bar" ... and of course I replied to the Telly but surely inch perfect would be just under the bar

Anyway Leeds lost over the 2 legs

[Donnywolf]

Andy Townsend (and Andy Gray) saying .... a great shot it really was

Oh that's the end of that then ... both no more !

[big fat yorkshire pudding]

When the commentators say it is an excellent cross into the box but in fact it was no where near anyone.

My Dad goes mad at this, surely the best cross is one that is connected with.  Similarly "that was a great ball" when it's too heavy and goes to the keeper - no it wasn't the player didn't get it.

[Copps is Magic]

Messieurs. Plural of the word monsieur.

This word has snuck into the English language through no other means than football pundits collective homo-erotic back slapping.

Linekar: "This week on the couch we have messieurs Murphy and Shearer, they knew how to take a penalty or two"

[graingrover]

..and now with the arrival of Van Gael we are going to be fed with incomprehensible , literal translations from Dutch such as last week's  " it is death or Gladioli"!!

[graingrover]

and all the highly paid foreign managers who only know a few adjectives so everything is either 'important ' or' difficult '

[Al4475]

'Game of two halves' well d'uh that's what half(ves) means - 2 bits! ffs!

[Askern_reds]

Stone wall ? Who's he play for he's allways involved we pens

[MachoMadness]

This thread reminds me of one of the few good things to ever come out of Soccer AM.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjSKEc_pkf4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjSKEc_pkf4</a>

[Wiltshire Exile]

What about this one from Neil Redfearn: "A pocket of momentum." What? 

And Stan Collymore on TalkSport: "He ran at the defence with pace." Give me strength!

[neil grainger]

"To be fair......."