Graham Thorpe

[TommyC]

Only just seen the sad news about Graham Thorpe. My favourite cricketer as a young un and the only shining light in those dark and gloomy days of English cricket in the 1990s that many of us will remember all too well. Gone at 55, such a tragically young age. Thanks for the memories.

[tommy toes]

Very shocking news. He was my favourite batsman too of that era.

[Campsall rover]

Very sad. No age at all.

One of the best batmen in the world in the late 90’s
A gritty performer in our batting line up when one was needed on many many occasions.

[BillyStubbsTears]

Apparently he had a major depressive illness and killed himself.

Awful situation. We have to get better as a society at dealing with mental illness.

[TommyC]

Apparently he had a major depressive illness and killed himself.

Awful situation. We have to get better as a society at dealing with mental illness.

That news has absolutely floored me BST. Never saw that coming at all or the fact his retreat from life in 2022 was for the same reason. Utterly heartbreaking. I remember he had to go home from a test series due to his mental health and that was about 25 years ago when attitudes were different. Surely in this day and age this could have been prevented. What a tragic waste and so sad for his family.

[BillyStubbsTears]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

[TommyC]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

Genuine question without agenda, but do you think social media and/or alcohol are the major factors in the rise in depression and anxiety? I will hold my hands up that I recognise the negative effects of both in myself when I've overdone either.

[BillyStubbsTears]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

Genuine question without agenda, but do you think social media and/or alcohol are the major factors in the rise in depression and anxiety? I will hold my hands up that I recognise the negative effects of both in myself when I've overdone either.

Honestly don't know how much of it is due to social media and how much social media is making us more aware of it. If I was going to guess, I'd go for the latter. But that's just based on the personal experience of my grandad damn nearly killing himself in the days when they didn't have as much as a telephone.

I think a lot of social media makes us unhappy, but as an amateur, I'd think that's different from clinical depression.

[sf9944]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

Genuine question without agenda, but do you think social media and/or alcohol are the major factors in the rise in depression and anxiety? I will hold my hands up that I recognise the negative effects of both in myself when I've overdone either.

Honestly don't know how much of it is due to social media and how much social media is making us more aware of it. If I was going to guess, I'd go for the latter. But that's just based on the personal experience of my grandad damn nearly killing himself in the days when they didn't have as much as a telephone.

I think a lot of social media makes us unhappy, but as an amateur, I'd think that's different from clinical depression.

I think the key for us blokes is to communicate more. By that I mean communicate in person rather than via a keyboard. That keyboard type of communication tends to make things worse I reckon

[drfchound]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

Genuine question without agenda, but do you think social media and/or alcohol are the major factors in the rise in depression and anxiety? I will hold my hands up that I recognise the negative effects of both in myself when I've overdone either.

Honestly don't know how much of it is due to social media and how much social media is making us more aware of it. If I was going to guess, I'd go for the latter. But that's just based on the personal experience of my grandad damn nearly killing himself in the days when they didn't have as much as a telephone.

I think a lot of social media makes us unhappy, but as an amateur, I'd think that's different from clinical depression.

I think the key for us blokes is to communicate more. By that I mean communicate in person rather than via a keyboard. That keyboard type of communication tends to make things worse I reckon

It is well known that social media bullying can cause severe depression which can then lead on to suicide.

[rich1471]

It's awful news Tommy.

There's an epidemic of mental illness among men and I've seen it from close hand across several decades and generations. The effects are brutal. We just expect men to "cope" with whatever life and their bodies' chemistry throws at them.

If I ruled the world, I'd have anyone who ever said "Man up" neutered to stop them propagating their genes.

Genuine question without agenda, but do you think social media and/or alcohol are the major factors in the rise in depression and anxiety? I will hold my hands up that I recognise the negative effects of both in myself when I've overdone either.

Honestly don't know how much of it is due to social media and how much social media is making us more aware of it. If I was going to guess, I'd go for the latter. But that's just based on the personal experience of my grandad damn nearly killing himself in the days when they didn't have as much as a telephone.

I think a lot of social media makes us unhappy, but as an amateur, I'd think that's different from clinical depression.

I think the key for us blokes is to communicate more. By that I mean communicate in person rather than via a keyboard. That keyboard type of communication tends to make things worse I reckon

That's the problem for me men don't talk about there struggles,they just bottle it up and put on a brave face nothing wrong with crying ,but men don't admit men we are struggling is it down to society or the generation we were born into I'm 51 ,me son is 24 and he always talks about mental health and he has struggled for about 5 years since he was diagnosed with MS and his medication

[DRFC_AjA]

Men need to start following women in terms how they deal with each other; they have each other's backs, they don't bring each other down, complimente each other, they're like a sisterhood. Men are the opposite whether it's strangers or even friends; bringing each other down, mocking each other, negative comments to one another. It's like the school playground continues throughout life

Society as well is finally slowly starting to change for women in the sense of phrases like "that's someone's daughter, mother" etc are creeping into the lexicon. Whereas for men we still apply those God awful phrases like "man up" or "fragile masculinity". Maybe that 'fragile' man could do without being made to feel he doesn't deserve his job because there aren't enough women doing it too, or that when he does want to socialise with his mates over a few beers he's actually not being a "toxic masculinity" man

[danumdon]

Very complex issue with i'd imagine a variety of triggers in each and every case, every one issue would be unique to that individual.

When you think about Graham Thorpe, people said he was always the life and soul of the party, always up for tricks and laughs, Its not unusual that this type use these sorts of public personas to hide their real persona behind a mask, like a coping mechanism, for some they manage to conceal it all their lives and for others like poor Graham Thorpe it wasn't enough.

Really feel for people like this, mental health is a complex beast and for some its a lifetimes work to keep it in check. My fear is that the lifestyles that modern day men now live does no one any favours and this is a problem that needs more thought and investigation into to help and aid people in these situations.

Another view is that white, middle class, middle age men are at the very bottom of any help and initiatives that may be going.

[Bentley Bullet]

Quite a few comedians have a miserable disposition and use humour to consolidate their feelings.

Laughter is often a camouflage.

[danumdon]

Forgot to add, my thoughts also go to the poor train driver who's train was involved in this fatality.

No one ever gives two hoots for the poor train driver, doing his job and being involved in a situation like this.

I know of two individuals who had to give up their careers because of fatalities whilst at work.

[scawsby steve]

I met David Bairstow once at a local cricket presentation. He was immensely witty and funny, and completely laid back.

I couldn't believe it when he took his life.

[Bentley Bullet]

I know a train driver who experienced a suicide and was traumatised by it. He was relieved of his duties for a while and received counselling. He said the most upsetting part was the victim was looking at him when it happened.

It must be a terrible experience.

[danumdon]

Drivers are now told to close their eyes on impact and try to cover their ears.

The sight and sound of the incident are what they will be waking up to throughout the night for the next 6 months, its not a nice thought, for some drivers it's their last involvement in train driving.

[Bentley Bullet]

It takes a certain type of person to be a train driver. Imagine doing 125mph in the pitch-black, and not knowing if there's an object on the line or some nutcase about to throw an object from a bridge, etc.

[danumdon]

It takes a certain type of person to be a train driver. Imagine doing 125mph in the pitch-black, and not knowing if there's an object on the line or some nutcase about to throw an object from a bridge, etc.

One of the reason why they get paid what they do. Its a mentally tough job. On the psychometric tests it's a trait that's checked out for in the questions and interviews. One of the reasons why so many people fail the tests.

[turnbull for england]

Very complex issue with i'd imagine a variety of triggers in each and every case, every one issue would be unique to that individual.

When you think about Graham Thorpe, people said he was always the life and soul of the party, always up for tricks and laughs, Its not unusual that this type use these sorts of public personas to hide their real persona behind a mask, like a coping mechanism, for some they manage to conceal it all their lives and for others like poor Graham Thorpe it wasn't enough.

Really feel for people like this, mental health is a complex beast and for some its a lifetimes work to keep it in check. My fear is that the lifestyles that modern day men now live does no one any favours and this is a problem that needs more thought and investigation into to help and aid people in these situations.

Another view is that white, middle class, middle age men are at the very bottom of any help and initiatives that may be going.

Looking at the report on that bloke who stabbed 3 to death in Nottingham it seems a struggle for quality care doesn't discriminate

[mugnapper]

I know a train driver who experienced a suicide and was traumatised by it. He was relieved of his duties for a while and received counselling. He said the most upsetting part was the victim was looking at him when it happened.

It must be a terrible experience.

I have a pub acquaintance who was a train driver who experienced the same thing. After a period of sick leave, he went back to work and immediately knew he couldn't do the job he loved again.
He was of an age to take early retirement, but still has nightmares about it 10 years later and still gets emotional if he talks about it.

[danumdon]

Very complex issue with i'd imagine a variety of triggers in each and every case, every one issue would be unique to that individual.

When you think about Graham Thorpe, people said he was always the life and soul of the party, always up for tricks and laughs, Its not unusual that this type use these sorts of public personas to hide their real persona behind a mask, like a coping mechanism, for some they manage to conceal it all their lives and for others like poor Graham Thorpe it wasn't enough.

Really feel for people like this, mental health is a complex beast and for some its a lifetimes work to keep it in check. My fear is that the lifestyles that modern day men now live does no one any favours and this is a problem that needs more thought and investigation into to help and aid people in these situations.

Another view is that white, middle class, middle age men are at the very bottom of any help and initiatives that may be going.

Looking at the report on that bloke who stabbed 3 to death in Nottingham it seems a struggle for quality care doesn't discriminate

Nothing to do with discrimination, not sure why it needed to be said, my point was about a certain demographic being at the back of the queue for everything except for the tax's that can be extracted out of them.

The man from Nottingham who killed three was well know to the social services in Nottingham and had been receiving care and assistance, the scocial services failed in their administration of him, they managed to mess up his registration and had him on a program where he wasn't required to take his medication by order.

Someone (probabiy a stressed and overworked social worker) dropped the ball, didn't have him on the strictest plan, the department also ignored other professionals quoting that he was a danger and needed to be reined in with the result being what happened.

Sounds and reads very much like the incident quite a few years ago in the Frenchgate Center. A woman with very a similar condition had been released into care in the community against professional advice and ended up stabbing a young girl to death.

Sounds like this happens far more than it ever should (as in zero)and social services are blamed due to their handling of a situation that's got completely out of hand. They basically don't have the funds to deal with the amount of cases (this goes back to governments of all colours) and ultimately end up releasing people who are patently not fit to be in the public domain.

Nobody seems to want to take this issue by the horns and deal with it. lets see what this present government suggest, don't anyone hold their breath.

[turnbull for england]

Don't want to get into a row at all but I mentioned it in response  to the claim it's middle aged white folk who are bottom of the list when clearly mental health services fail users ( and the the general public as you rightly point out ) across the spectrum