Things you know for ‘CERTAIN’ you will never do in your life, (reasonable!).

[Usher wide.]

Ride in a stagecoach.

[Bentley Bullet]

Wear a L**ds United shirt.

[tommy toes]

Have a ‘love affair’ with a French woman.
No chance sadly.

[danumdon]

Buy a French car!

[glosterred]

Jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft with a bag of silk strapped to my back

[Nudga]

Have sex with a man.

[drfchound]

Get any younger.

[Donnywolf]

Fly to Australia

[Bentley Bullet]

Go on Bullseye with Scawsby Steve. He's not very bright and his dart throwing's shite.

[Bentley Bullet]

Go for a pint with Donnywolf. The last time I did I ran into the pub and dashed to the toilets like Usain Bolt so he'd go to the bar and get them in for once.

Alas, When I tried to push the toilet door open he wouldn't let me in.

[Reg of the Rovers]

Play for the Rovers. I'm trying to keep the dream alive, but as skillful as I am in back yard footy, I'm not sure Grant will be interested in a chubby 45 year old.

[TonySoprano]

Buy an electric car

[River Don]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

[River Don]

Use a sunbed or get a piercing or  tattoo.

[Bentley Bullet]

Expect Donny Rovers to win when I'm confident they will!

[Nudga]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

Why let age stop you RD? Knackers to what anybody thinks.

[turnbull for england]

Buy a cheap pager from car boot

[Pancho Regan]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

Why let age stop you RD? Knackers to what anybody thinks.

I went to a 'leaving do' 2 years ago, attended by about 25 young women and 5 blokes and I danced like a mad person all evening.

I was 65.

Get on that dance floor RD!

[scawsby steve]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

Why let age stop you RD? Knackers to what anybody thinks.

I went to a 'leaving do' 2 years ago, attended by about 25 young women and 5 blokes and I danced like a mad person all evening.

I was 65.

Get on that dance floor RD!

Yeah, Pancho, but it gets a bit embarrassing when BB and Wolfie get up doing the military two step.

[Draytonian III]

Climb a tree

[Bentley Bullet]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

Why let age stop you RD? Knackers to what anybody thinks.

I went to a 'leaving do' 2 years ago, attended by about 25 young women and 5 blokes and I danced like a mad person all evening.

I was 65.

Get on that dance floor RD!

Yeah, Pancho, but it gets a bit embarrassing when BB and Wolfie get up doing the military two step.

I'll have you know Wolfie survived a mustard gas and pepper spray attack in WW2. He's a seasoned veteran.

Show a bit of respect!

[Nudga]

Sadly, I severely doubt, being in my mid 50s, I will ever dance in a night club again.

It's weird but I can't remember the last time when I did it.

Why let age stop you RD? Knackers to what anybody thinks.

I went to a 'leaving do' 2 years ago, attended by about 25 young women and 5 blokes and I danced like a mad person all evening.

I was 65.

Get on that dance floor RD!

I go to my lads gigs and pogo with the youngens,  also still get in the mosh pit at other gigs with him.
It's ace  to let off a bit of steam.

Told my missus, I refuse to grow up because I've got one chance at this life and I'm going to live it.

[Bentley Bullet]

The rule of thumb is if you haven't grown up by the time you've reached 60, you don't have to.