Rancher joke

[Dickie Dido]

The Rancher

 

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted

wife.  She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch,

but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the

newspaper for a ranch hand.

 

Two cowboys applied for the job.. One was gay and the other

a drunk.

 

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else

applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have

him around the house than the drunk.

 

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every

day and knew a lot about ranching.

 

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing

very well.  Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You

have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into

town and kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into

town on Saturday night..

 

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two

o'clock and no hired hand.  Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon

entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace

with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

 

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said..  Trembling,

he did as she directed. 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever

so slowly.

 

'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed

them neatly by her boots.

 

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly

watching her eyes in the fire light.

 

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did

as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said,

'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'

 

(P.S. I didn't see that one coming, either.)




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[CusworthRovers]

Naughty Jack dies and is sent straight to hell. Mr Devil shows him 3 doors...'Pick 1 room my friend where you will then spend the rest of eternity'. Jack looks behind the first door and see's boiling water dripping from the ceiling and devil dogs running everywhere. He then looks behind the 2nd door which is covered in hot embers, snakes and more devil dogs. He then looks behind the 3rd door and see's an old man getting a blow job from a gorgeous naked busty blonde...'I'll take that room 3 please Mr Devil' says Jack. 'Certainly Jack' said Mr Devil.....he then taps the busty blonde on the shoulder 'you can go now love, Jack is taking over'