True Or False?

[scawsby steve]

True or false:

If you've been hit with a rhythm stick you could be eligible for a personal Ian Dury claim?

If you didn't get the payout, what a waste of time that'd be.

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

The secret of successful horse breeding at The National Stud is all about the old phrase 'Horses f**k horses.'

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

Costaphobia is the irrational fear of confined coffee shops?

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest and came 20th?

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

Former Doncaster Rovers player Mark Rankine received more laughter than applause when Jonathan Ross introduced him on his chat show?

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

Scawsby Steve used to have a job shovelling shit. At the end of the shift, he used to write 'Shovelling shit' on the job sheet. One day the manager said, "Steve, we have a new secretary. Dead posh she is. In future can you write 'extracting excretion' instead of 'shovelling shit'?"

Scawsby Steve said, "If I could spell 'extracting excretion' I wouldn't be shovelling shit for a living!"

[scawsby steve]

True or false:

Scawsby Steve used to have a job shovelling shit. At the end of the shift, he used to write 'Shovelling shit' on the job sheet. One day the manager said, "Steve, we have a new secretary. Dead posh she is. In future can you write 'extracting excretion' instead of 'shovelling shit'?"

Scawsby Steve said, "If I could spell 'extracting excretion' I wouldn't be shovelling shit for a living!"

Actually, BB, I worked for the old Bentley with Arksey Urban District Council for a while in the late 60s. Some of the old farmhouses around Almholme still weren't connected to the sewers, and had "privvy middens", where the sh*t dropped into ashes underneath the pan.

Some of the workers had to shovel that lot out about once a month. On the timesheets, they had to put "Removal of nightsoil".

I didn't even like touching the timesheets.

[Dutch Uncle]

True or False:

The film sensors were particularly hard on the film 'Babe', cutting out all swearing and 'colourful language'.

They were worried that colourblind viewers would have trouble working out what the pig meant.

[Bentley Bullet]

True or False:

The film sensors were particularly hard on the film 'Babe', cutting out all swearing and 'colourful language'.

They were worried that colourblind viewers would have trouble working out what the pig meant.

False. That's a pigment of your imagination.

[SydneyRover]

Believe it or Not ...................

The judge in trump's hush money trial is called Juan Merchan

[Dutch Uncle]

Canadian Goalkeeper Steve Kindel is touted by many as the best at saving penalties. He is said to be able to read the penalty taker like a book.

[Bentley Bullet]

True or false:

Robin Hood and his merry band of followers entertained themselves around the campfires of Sherwood Forest by making up spoonerisms. Robin Hood became Hobin Rood, and Little John became Jittle Lohn. Maid Marian always found the game boring because no one laughed at her new name, but that was nowt, poor old Friar Tuck wasn't even allowed to play.

[Dutch Uncle]

True of False: A Shakespeare sonnet is simply a case of bard going to verse

[Pancho Regan]

True or false:

Michelangelo was such a contortionist, he painted the whole of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel on his back.

[Dutch Uncle]

Believe it or Not ...................

The judge in trump's hush money trial is called Juan Merchan

Nearer home, a couple of years back, the referee allocated to a Blackpool home match was changed at the last minute when the fans announced a large protest against the owners (Oystons?). The replaced referee was called ............... Ben Toner