Re: The Amazing Fact Chain Letter

[donnyallday]

Its no good trying to whistle blow me and thinking im washing my dirty laundry in pubic.

Im just re living my youth.

Next Mary shytehouse. Edit whitehouse

[The Red Baron]

Mary Whitehouse is the aunt of promising Rovers winger Billy. During his junior career she used to attend all his matches until she was banned by the FA for her persistent verbal abuse, including sexual innuendo, directed at referees and opponents who upset "our Billy." She now occupies her time by writing letters of complaint to the BBC and other television companies.

Next: The Watershed.

[IDM]

The "watershed" is a forgotten term used for an outside toilet, or "nettie". Or "next door" (if you live in Barnsley).

Next:  Casino Craps

[donnyallday]

Their was talk of opening a casino in Barnsley once upon a time but soon realised it was a crap idea.

Nobody has any brass to spend, or washes for that come to think of it , hence Grimethorpe

Infact stairfoot has no stairs because theyve chopped them up for firewood, thats why they all have smokey faces, i know this because the well at oakwell is always full.

Not forgetting the wombs at wombwell, they cudeth   been removed more earlier to bring the viewing ratings down on the jeremy kyle show.
Next Casper

[BobG]

w**kergren. A crap goalkeeper who played for a comedy football club in West Yorkshire.

Next: comedy football clubs

BobG

[tommy toes]

After tonight, take a bow Notts County. What a joke of a performance from them.
Next: Oldest Club in the World.

[Sandy Lane]

The oldest club in the world has to be the type used by cavemen to kill animals for food before dragging women by the hair into the cave to cook it.

Next:  apposable thumbs

[BobG]

Sorry - an interjection:

Cooking women? Christ!

BobG

[tommy toes]

If you have opposable thumbs you can touch your fingers with them.
Apposable thumbs is an app you can download to do the job for you.
Next: Angry Birds.

[Sammy Chung was King]

If you have opposable thumbs you can touch your fingers with them.
Apposable thumbs is an app you can download to do the job for you.
Next: Angry Birds.

Angry Birds, Have been known to occupy the former Park Lane area for years, stumbling out of the venue on 'Skyscraper heels', with a face that they keep in a jar by the door, and 'More trowelling damage to the face than a Rookie bricklayers first wall'
They wait around hoping that a youth fresh out of college will show them what it was like when they were in their prime, but often end up copping off with 'An old sort with a cough and pension book on the hip'!.
If you are a young guy don't approach them, they are dangerous, they will destroy your innocence, ruin you physically, you will never be the same. But if your at a loose end and need some 'Extra curicular Education', dive in, on your head be it son!

NEXT

Barnsley folks extra fingers

[donnyallday]

If you ever saw a bird who wasnt angry and in tow with a  six fingered dingle around the park lane area, the reason is pretty clear.

 These wrong uns have a brilliant bowling grip which enables them to sink two in the pink and two in the brown  at the same time, whilst he can roll a fag for her after.

 n ext   Rotters

[belton rover]

Rotters of Rotherham is a family run aromatic catering firm whose main area of income is to ensure that the stench of garbage and shit is served up at The New York Stadium on a regular basis.
The firm, established at the same time as RUFC, hit the big time as the footballing world looked on in disgust when Fatty Evans' arse was caught live flabbing down the touch line at Wembley. Legend has it that if the wind is blowing in the right direction, the stench of sweaty arse crack can still be whiffed as one walks down Wembley Way.
Earlier today, a Rotters spokesman happily confirmed that despite concerns that Evans' recent departure would result in a more pleasant atmospheric aroma around the Town, things are actually just as shitty as before.
Next: Londis Cabbages

[bobjimwilly]

"Londis Cabbages" is the common name for maturemingeitis, a rare genetic disease that causes small, leaf-like growths appearing underneath the arms that are green in colour. Symptoms can manifest at random intervals, but occur more frequently following intercourse with middle-aged women from Scunthorpe.

Next: steelworks

[Filo]

Steelworks is a term used in the music industry when referring to the discography of entertainer Tommy Steele.

Next: half a sixpence

[RedJ]

Steve Evans once went on a food tour of Rotherham. Only half a sixpence worth of pies remained in the entire town come the end of the night.

Next: Dave Kitson

[tommy toes]

Dave Kitson has just been voted by fans of all clubs as the Fairest Footballer in History.
His victory was assured by the votes of supporters of Doncaster Rovers who voted in their thousands.
This was in response to their game against Portsmouth when Dave dived into the box but immediately got up and begged the ref (without success)not to award a penalty. Later in the same game he punched the ball in the net and once again a goal was awarded despite his protestations.
What a man!
Next: Ginger Spice

[RobTheRover]

Ginger Spice is a so-called "legal high" that only has any effect on Strawberry Blondes

Next : Dean Saunders

[Sammy Chung was King]

Dean Saunders. A little known manager, who once had a decent playing career, and now manages Chesterield FC along with his sideline P.I. work.
He is also the main instructor in ''Manager speak'', at the fa's headquarters. It has been said ''He could send a glass eye to sleep''!.
He is currently being flown into IS territories, to talk with them to try and reach a peaceful solution. His tale will go something like this-
''I know how hard it is lads, i took over at Doncaster, and the players were getting changed in a cabin, much like the situation you face in this cave''!.

''I had the budget of a sunday morning team, the Doncaster people had never seen football before i educated them, i managed completely on my own to turn a club that was fighting Mike Tyson every week in their style of play, to a team that played mesmorising football''!.
One of the IS men say to him ''Yes but what happened at Wolves''?.
Saunders sat there for a minute dumbfounded he knew anything about Wolves, scratching his chin, raising his eyebrows. Then he answered ''They had it in for me because i played for Villa''!.
Another one of the IS men said through a translator, ''Really i heard you were shit''!.
Saunders again raised his eyebrows, and said ''Anyway lads enough about me, i heard there was a job going as a preacher, can you put a good word in.....''!.

Next Brian the Blade.

[tommy toes]

A new X rated version of The Magic Roundabout is to be released to a horrified public.
Featuring Dylan a drug crazed hippie psychopathic rabbit, Zebedee who's spring is made of razor wire and makes a bloody mess of Florence when he lands on her; and Brian the Blade who deftly turns Ermintrude into steak, brisket and silverside with one swish of his sharpened tool.
Next: Florence Nightingale.

[tommy toes]

After a 5 year hiatus now might be a good time to resurrect this thread.

Next: Florence Nightingale.

[BillyStubbsTears]

Florence Nighting Ale is an alcoholic fermentation made in Sevastopol.

Next: Crimea.

[IDM]

Crimea River was quite a successful record for 80s singer Alison Moyet, one of the best covers of that song IMHO.

Next:  Alf Garnett

[tommy toes]

Alf Garnett was played by Warren Mitchell who was the father of Phil Mitchell in EastEnders and married to Margaret Mitchell who wrote Gone with the wind.
None of them supported West Ham.

Next: Rhett Butler

[IDM]

Apart from appearing in one particular very famous film, what has Rhett Butler actually ever done otherwise.?

Frankly, I don’t give a damn.

Next: Mr Shankley

[BillyStubbsTears]

"Shank" Lee was the nickname of the cartoonist Stan Lee. He was wasn't very good at golf.

Next: Hookers.

[IDM]

Haha BST, I thought that reference would bring you out.!

Since women’s rugby has increased in prominence recently, makes you wonder if they will change the name for the position which wears the no 2 shirt..

Next:  polished turd

[SydneyRover]

Polish Ed the turd is the nickname for the Irish plumber who always went beyond the call of duty while living and working on the Bogside.

Next: Typhoid Mary

[IDM]

Typhoid Mary is what my elderly grandmother mistakenly called Typhoon Mary - Typhoid Mary is not, contrary to popular belief, a euphemism for a female venereal disease.

Next:  pant beard

[SydneyRover]

pant beard the younger and shorter cousin of blue beard was renowned for her title the Guinness Book of Records entry as the human rope bridge.

Next: Mercan the terrible

[tommy toes]

Mary Beard the elderly historian with the straggly grey hair has become an unlikely sex symbol in academic circles.
So much so that she has been receiving phone calls from men who pant beard beard beard, while obviously playing the five fingered flute.

Next: James Galway