Re: The Amazing Fact Chain Letter

[IDM]

"Jones the Steam" will be the nickname of our new assistant manager, who's main responsibility will be ironing the kits, and making post-match celebratory cups of tea for new director of football Sean O'Dismal.


Next:  Popping candy

[RobTheRover]

Andy C Popping was a WW1 soldier, famous for being the first man to reach enemy trenches during the Battle of the Somme.  Due to all his brave squad members being killed during the "over the top" command, it wasnt realised that he had actually reached the German-held territory until some years later when his official ID was found in the dried mud.  It read Popping, C. Andy.

Next : Hubba Bubba

[Filo]

Hubba Bubba was the original name for the police informer in the TV cop series Starskey and Hutch, the producers later renamed him Huggy Bear

Next: David Soul

[BillyStubbsTears]

David's 'Ole has never been quite the same since he jumped onto the roof of that car in the opening credits.

Next: Duncan McKenzie.

[RobTheRover]

McKenzies were small circular treats originating from Glasgow.  They were deep fried and rolled in sugar.

When the Scots decided to go to America they found that the McKenzie name was already taken, so decided to call their sweet treats "Donuts".   The Americans really took to the Scottish delicacy, and opened up a chain of upmarket donut stalls called "Duncan Donuts", but Scottish ex-pats still refer to the chain as "Duncan McKenzie"

Next : Cockles

[BillyStubbsTears]

Cock Les was the partner of Fat Les.

Yes! (S)he of "Vindaloo" fame.

Cock Les of course was a Phal man.

Next: Na-na-nahhhhh! Na-na-nahhhhh! Na-na-nahhhhh na-na-nahhhhh na-naaaaahhhhh!

[RobTheRover]

Na-na-nahhhhh! Na-na-nahhhhh! Na-na-nahhhhh na-na-nahhhhh na-naaaaahhhhh! Is what you call out in an Indian restaurant when you require an additional naan bringing to the table.

Next : "You got to hold and give and do it at the right time"

[BillyStubbsTears]

It's a little-known fact that Sean O'Driscoll made it to the final show in the 1990 England World Cup Idol show.

His final song went.
"You got to hold and give but you must learn this lesson
"You can be slow or slower, but you must keep possession.
"Then hit the ball and hurl it. Right there down the wing.
"And don't look at league tables. They don't mean a thing."

He was front runner to win the final, until the fatal moment when he sniffed violently and The Daily Mail ran a devastating piece about him preferring players called Charlie.

The eventual 1990 WC song is but a pale shadow of what might have been, with the line "there's only one way to beat them, get round the back!" not only being a cheap Carry On era bit of double entendre, but also being tactically very naive. O'Driscoll made it his career objective to prove that you didn't actually have to "get round the back" at all. Ever. Once.

Next: W-M Formation

[RobTheRover]

The W-M Formation was invented by Willie McKay.  It can only be populated by Frenchmen with a penchant for doing the bare minimum to earn their exorbitant salary.  A Gallic shrug to justify the lack of effort is mandatory.

Next : The Eiffel Tower

[tommy toes]

The Eiffel Tower was part of the first phase in the regeneration of Paris.
Run down and dilapidated the city was bereft of tourists.
The next phase involved knocking down the Champs Elysses and building the 'Strand de Plaisir' complete with roller coasters, waltzers and a hall of mirrors.
Tons of sand were placed by the Seine and wind machines installed so it was always blowing a gale.
Didn't want tourists on the beach too long when the punters could be in the Louvre which was now full of slot machines and bingo.
Next: Blackpool Rock.

[donnyallday]

Blackpool Rock was a man made island built just off fleetwood called Black a traz for young offenders.
It was designed by eartha kit and contructed by top trades people such as, Rollin Stone, Bam Bam Barney Rubble and the Bolder Brothers to name a few. Blackpool Tower was used as a sentry post just incase any prisoner had grand illusions of swimming to escape.

Next  JAWS.

[Dutch Uncle]

In the 1980's the US had two simulation models they used to support exercises in Europe. They were called AWSIM (Air Warfare Simulation - pronounced Awesome) and GRWSIM (Ground warfare Simulation - pronounced Gruesome). NATO took them, integrated the models to make a Joint Simulation model - Joint Alliance Warfare Simulation - called JAWS

I didn't even have to make much of that up.................

Next - Maastricht 

[BobG]

Maastricht. A town with a very fine squash club, an even finer Indonesian restaurant, a football club with an intriguing name, and a f***ing awful legacy of a nasty, brutish and excessively loud and shrill woman being spotted there in the early 1980's.

Next: first up against the wall.

BobG

[tommy toes]

First up against the wall...Bob G.
No I'd  practice on a few others first to make sure I'd  got me eye in!
(only joking Bob)
Next: Winchester

[BobG]

Ha ha ha!!!!!!

Cracking Tommy!

I'm not following up with the Winchester repsonse so carry on chaps. All I can think of right now is that Winchester Catherdral is actually floating on a mediaeval bog. (And no chortles please!) A bloke, who's name escapes me right now, spent the better part of his working life in one of them old fashioned diving suits going underneath the bloody place dragging bags of cement with him to prop the place up.  True story that.

Bobg

[Sandy Lane]

There was a fellow named Chester who lived in the 1800's and he was a very optimistic but unlucky fellow who loved to gamble!  Every week he would place a large bet of his entire weekly wages on the local horse races through his bookie.  Every week he would lose all his money, and it soon became a running joke that Chester never won. Finally, finally Chester started winning his weekly races, but only after all his pals would chant over and over:  Win Chester!  Win Chester!  Win Chester!  And Chester finally did start to win and then kept on winning and winning, and winning!  Finally the bookie started to get a little fed up that Chester kept winning and winning, so he chased Chester out of the county and used a rifle to back up his threats, which is how the Winchester rifle got its name!

Next: Frank Turner

[tommy toes]

When the Plant Works opened in 1865 the Turning Shop was populated by workers so undervalued the managers called them all Turner. There was Angry Turner, Lazy Turner, Dirty Turner etc. The direct and sincere one was called Frank Turner.
Next: The Flying Scotsman

[IDM]

Wee Jockie McDingleberry was a pioneer aviator.  Prior to the first world war he got his hands on an aircraft and taught himself to fly.

Ahead of his time, he wanted to set up a mail run between Edinburgh and London, competing with the trains, particularly those running down the east coast mainline.

However, his idea didn't take off (sorry!) as the aircraft was not capable of carrying much weight and wasn't any quicker in those days, than the train.

The train journey, and subsequently the famous LNER engine, were named "Flying Scotsman" in an ironic tribute to their failed competitor.


Next: Taking one for the team

[RobTheRover]

"Taking one for the team" is an abstraction of "Taking Juan for the team", which originated in 1928.  Following the end of the first world war, a group of Spaniards relocated to South Yorkshire, just as the Doncaster and District Junior Sunday Football League (sponsored by the Doncaster Free Press) was formed.  Pedro Fethethe wanted to take his son to training one saturday morning, but had been called into work at short notice.  His neighbour took young Juan with him and his son, hence the saying was born.

Next : The Fast Show

[IDM]

The Fast Show is a magazine style TV programme (think the One Show) broadcast in Arab countries during Ramadan. 

It is broadcast after sunset so that food and drink can be included, and it is very popular.


Next:  Oooh Matron!

[tommy toes]

Quentin Tarantino likes to play with a mixture of genres in his films.
At the end of Reservoir Dogs as Harvey Keitel is gunned down the camera closes in on his face and his last words were 'Oooh Matron' in the style of Kenneth Williams.
Tarantino only decided to cut it after threats of legal action from Barbara Windsor.
Next: Carry on Camping.

[donnyallday]

Camper than a row of tents Kenneth Williams may have minced more had Bernard Manning  thrust his moobs out. However the sight of Babs baps had Terry Thomas been there would have simply been, DING DONG!!!.

Cad and a bounder.

[tommy toes]

Andrew Caddick was just starting his run up on the last day of the 4th test against Australia at Lords in 1993 when he thought heard Phil Tufnell, who was fielding at mid-off call him a cad and a bounder.
So he went up to Tufnell to have it out with him. 'No.I said Cad do a bouncer' said a rattled Tuffers.
Next: Silly Point

[BillyStubbsTears]

1980-summat. Rovers 4-1 up at home to 10- man Brentford with 20 mins to go. Contrived to draw 4-4. Daftest point ever.

Next: Dean Greygoose.

[RobTheRover]

College Dean Greygoose was the bloke in charge of Barnsley College until 2012, when it was discovered that the college was in fact just a front for an expensive French Vodka brand.  What a cad and bounder.

Next : Tequila Slammers

[tommy toes]

There are loads of mad, bad and dangerous prisons in Mexico but the Tequila Slammers
are the worst of the lot.
Next Porridge.

[RobTheRover]

Next Porridge is a slang term for sticky deposits left in the changing rooms of the famous clothing chain. by amorous couples.

Next : Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen

[donnyallday]

lawrence Llewelyn Bowen isnt as green as you think when it comes to changing rooms, his ideas are off the cuff.
His passion extends to William Morris, Bowens mrs has big bangers.

Next Morris Minor

[BobG]

Son to Morris Major. Father of Morris Tertius.

Next: dead languages

Bobg

[Mike_F]

Judging by some of the frankly indecipherable shite posted on this very forum by Acko & co., English is a dead language.

Next: Grammar Nazis